Problem solving

In a nutshell, doesn't that sum up much of parenting? Decision making and essentially problem solving? Forever trying to find solutions that will work for the entire family... Making decisions about scheduling and activities that will not squeeze out quality family time and down time, but allow the kids to explore and grow as well... Finding creative ways to get my preschooler to stop wetting her pants when I know she can because she didn't use to!... Figuring out when and how to fit in some sort of physical activity for myself... Making sure the beds get made, floors, kitchen and bathrooms stay clean (and lets not forget the laundry!)... Planning out the best route to accomplish errands in a short time span between naps, or before it's time to pick up one of the kids from preschool or the bus... Making the key decisions of which school to send the kids to and who will care for the younger ones when the time comes to head back to work... Weighing the feasibility of staying home full-time or scaling back to part-time and balancing the finances... Oh then there are all the sleep issues... figuring out a good bedtime routine that works to get the kids to bed early... getting the baby to sleep through the night... the toddler to stay in bed at night or preschooler to nap in the afternoon... the other to not be afraid at bedtime...

The questions and different possibilities of how these different issues and tasks can be handled keep a parent's mind going and problem solving non-stop whether we realise it or not! So many factors affecting every decision we make. I quite enjoy the problem solving aspect of being a mom... mainly because it feels pretty awesome when I (or we) find a solution that works for one the kids and for our family. It`s usually different for every child so there`s never a clear cut answer even if you find yourself facing the same issues, and as the kids grow, the decisions to make don't go away... they just evolve! I find myself praying for wisdom alot. For the big and little things... I love James 1:5-6

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."

It`s easy to ignore verse 6 on that one, but you can`t... it takes faith in God that He hears us and a confidence that He will guide us in making the right decisions... it might take a while to find the right solution to whatever problem (however big or minor), but knowing that God's helping me along the way gives me peace and confidence in the every day and more complicated decisions that life brings my way!

March Already

Wow, I can't believe my last post was February 2nd! I've had a couple of posts running in my head that I'd love to sit down and write when I have a bit more time... I am proud of myself for having been off the computer this month though! We enjoyed family day weekend (a lovely new statutory holiday in Ontario giving us a long weekend in the middle of cold February!) Except it wasn't cold. My hopes of tobagganing and skating outdoors with our visiting family didn't quite materialize as we had a warm spell the week before that melted all the snow! Despite not getting to enjoy the winter sports with the kids, it was just great to see them have a blast together. We've been singing a lot of ABBA since then as my sister's daughter LOVES Mamma Mia... now my girls are hooked and are singing ABBA non stop! Poor daddy who is so outnumbered with all these girls! Now February is gone, I thought the sickness would go with it... but I woke up to a little one with the sniffles and congestion this morning... here we go again!! It deceivingly looks like spring outside with the snow mostly melted away and the blue sky and sunshine, but is that glacial wind (not to mention the sub-zero temperatures) ever COLD!! Looking forward to the warmth now... I'm a Northern girl... I like winter to come and stay... when the thaw comes, you know spring is here... these fluctuations in temperature all winter long make it tough on the psyche to get through the next cold spell (and I could do without the ice from the thawing and freezing)!! I'll be back soon I hope to write those posts I haven't had a chance to yet!!

A world of hurt

The past year, my senses have truly been heightened to those hurting all around me... close by and abroad... Friends living far from family, unable to return to their home country where they would be persecuted for their faith in Christ... friends with struggling marriages... some facing nasty custody battles and endless legal proceedings and false accusations... too many walking with loved ones through their fight with cancer... friends struck suddenly with inexplicable illnesses that have momentarily and at times permanently rocked their worlds... others struggling with infertility... husbands working far from home... then news of a baby girl (seemingly barely 1 from the photos) battling with stage 4 cancer... and reading the stories of some of the children members of my church's mission trip to Cambodia are encountering...

I have also recently been introduced to the International Justice Mission and have just read a book called "Terrify No More" which tells of their work in Cambodia and around the world to free and seek justice for victims of sex-trafficking and of bonded labour, etc. I'm also finishing a book called "One - A face behind the numbers" where Vaden Earle from Absolute Leadership Development brings to light the injustice that so many in the world face and our need for us to step up, become aware and take action!

All of this has led me to one main response... Why am I so blessed Lord? I have a loving and faithful husband, healthy beautiful children, a lovely spacious home, a tight-knit loving extended family, caring friends and a wonderful church community. We are blessed beyond belief. As I sat the other night praying for those hurting around me and wondering why we are continually blessed, the answer that came was this...

We are blessed so that we may bless others.

We can't respond to others' stories with the fear of illness, injury or accidents striking our family. That response keeps my eyes on me. It's selfish and a useless waste of energy and emotion - though I sometimes have to remind myself. No, I really believe that we are blessed so that we can bless others with our time, our resources, our friendships and our prayers.

I wrote about my desire to teach my kids about compassion back in October... getting their eyes off their own little lives and desires and to recognize the needs of others around them. I think I am the one who has been learning the lesson more than anyone. It's so easy to get consumed by my own busy life and family, with my only worries being paying the bills at the end of the month, getting my kids through their colds and flus and preparing my 3-year old for school in September.

I have been feeling a new and increasing burden to pray for those who cross my path the past while. You know, it's a funny thing to pray more for others. It takes my eyes off me and my troubles as they arise which seem SO BIG when they're my main focus. But as I look to God and trust Him to act in the lives of others, lifting them up in prayer, it builds my faith to remember that God is a powerful God who will take care of my worries which seem to be nothing at all regardless of how bad my day seems!

I am blessed. As John Waller talks about in his song "The Blessing", I can and will choose to be a blessing!

Simple pleasures

For the past month, my girls have been having a blast playing in the forts they've been building. First there was the blanket fort at Christmas time -Daddy had a sweet set up for them with the TV and DVD in there so they could snuggle up on the mattress on the floor with their sleeping bags and watch a movie on a lazy afternoon! Seen here in mid-construction...

Then our neighbour dropped off a dishwasher box that he thought the girls might enjoy. They started putting their blankets, teddy's, books, you name it in there, then asked if they could paint it (which they did the week everyone was home sick).

We cut windows out the sides, then brought in a big TV box we had in the garage, adding to their fort. They've joined the two together and asked to have a door cut out of the side of one of the boxes for easier access... they can entertain themselves in there with their lamp, books and toys for hours!

The only problem is that life is so busy during the week with school, homework, skating, piano... that we long for the weekend! We have succeeded in slowing down the pace of our weeks by cutting out a few things since the fall, but still my favourite time in the world are Saturday mornings. No work or school to get to, no lunches to make, no church to rush to. The girls seem so much happier when they're together to play (having missed not having as much playtime in the week), and don't have to rush to go anywhere. I recently read a blog entry by Kelly that I fully resonated with all about those Saturdays at the end of hectic weeks and another by Elisabeth about making our house a home the family can enjoy. Then chatting with my sister the other day... the same idea keeps coming back about needing to slow life down, unscheduling crazy weeks, taking in the simple pleasures with family (forts and all!) as we make our house into the home we all long to spend more time in together.

Here's to more forts and simple pleasures that all the money in the world and non-stop rushing and oversheduling can't bring! Rocky's words still ring in my ears... we increasingly have a society full of experience-rich and relationally-poor kids... I'm appreciating the beauty of a cardboard box and all the fun it can bring to a home and family!

Mom knows best?

My husband starts school on Monday. In 12 months he'll be a paramedic! It's kind of a career change, but not a surprising one... he's worked a lot with youth in camp ministry, in the business world and in the fire service. Bottom line, he loves people, is a problem-solver, has a cool head in a crisis and thrives on that adrenaline rush. My mother-in-law couldn't be happier about this... she says that she's been after him to do this since he was a little boy! I guess moms really do know their kids.

I'm a high school teacher, and I'd have to say that one of the things that angers me the most is when students are told (by whomever - guidance counselors, teachers, parents, coaches...) that they will NEVER be able to do this or that... I grew up with a dad who used to tell me that the world was my stage. That I could do whatever I put my mind to. I vividly remember back in high school when my university applications were due... I had no idea where to apply or what to study. I pleaded with my dad to just tell me what I should do!! But he wouldn't. He said that this was one thing I'd have to figure out on my own... that got me thinking about what I really loved, and learning about the life around me and kids were two of those things - so off I went to study Biology while in the concurrent education program (allowing me to get both my undergraduate and teaching degrees).

I think the reason why I'm so bothered when people come down on kids and teens is because I do think that people can do what they put their minds to. Just take my husband and I for example... I was the straight A high school student... he was far from it... I did okay in university and worked hard... he went back to do an undergraduate degree in the health sciences earlier in our marriage and was way surpassing the majority of my university grades with marks mostly in the 80s and even some in the 90s! If you'd asked his high school teachers if they saw that in him back in the day... they probably would have said NEVER! Just goes to say that we need to believe in our kids. Looking at our own girls, who knows what they'll choose to do with their lives down the road... as much as my 6-year old enjoyed taking out her "doctor's kit" to care for me when I was sick yesterday (with her stethoscope and many needles!), in all honesty, I know that when she faces a crisis and sees any type of blood or trauma, she goes into panic/hysteria mode. So I'm guessing that she might not have her daddy's aptitude for the medical field or emergency services... having said that, I'm not going to start telling her that she could never be a doctor. Who knows how she'll develop and grow and mature over time!? I pray that God gives my girls direction and wisdom as they grow up (Colossians 1:9-14), and in the meantime, we are doing our best to help them to discover and develop their strengths and God-given gifts. The most important thing is that our kids know that we believe in them and that God has a plan for their lives (Jeremiah 29:11-13) then the possibilities are endless... I've seen what otherwise unmotivated students can do when they begin to see that you believe in them. It changes everything.

"Let's tell our young people

that the best books are yet to be written;

the best paintings have not yet been painted;

the best governments are yet to be formed;

the best is yet to be done by them."

- John Erskine

Surprise!

I don't know about your kids (if you have any), but mine don't always jump when I ask them to get dressed in the morning, or to put their jammies on at bedtime, or to come to get their hair and teeth brushed... Don't get me wrong, they're great kids and they listen fairly well and most mornings my 6 year-old is fully dressed by the time she leaves her room and my 3-year old is always eager to be mommy's little helper, but still, sometimes it's just tough to get them going!  One thing seems to get them moving though... now and then just telling them to  "Surprise daddy (or mommy)!" and they're off and running, hiding, giggling, moving as fast as they can to get ready - and no peeking not to ruin the surprise!  

Tonight, the surprise card still seemed to work despite our household being a sickly one for the past week... flus, chest infections, fevers, laryngitis, much coughing and more fevers... I needed some help to get them going tonight because I've been hit with it too and haven't been feeling so great the past few days!!  This morning it was the baby's turn... we're still praying that at least daddy stays healthy!  It's never a fun thing to be sick.  And it's especially difficult to feel so helpless while the kids are sick.  We've had our share of sleepless nights with sick kids the past month...  Needless to say, it was nice to see the girls have enough energy to want to surprise mommy with their jammies tonight!  Here's to a healthier month to come so that we can get out to play in the snow more!

Welcome 2009 - Here's to Living in Transition No More!

Last year was... well... interesting! I was back at work, pregnant, rushing all the time... JD was #1 with the girls in the morning and after school most days not leaving him much time in between to get much done (now he understands!)... we didn't know from one moment to the next if we were moving to another city as my husband seeked out various job opportunities... Our move was looking like it would be shortly after the baby was born and I didn't know when or how I would even think of getting the house packed while teaching full-time, or after with a newborn! In sum, 2008 was a draining year - physically and emotionally! The highlights: my husband and I drew closer together through the roller-coaster ride and we welcomed our third beautiful baby girl into our family... true blessings ;)

Now on maternity leave since the summer... we've made a decision which is carrying on into 2009... We will no longer "live in transition"! What do I mean by that? I've spoken to a few friends recently who know exactly what I'm talking about... living in transition is when you're not sure how long you'll be staying where you are, so you hear yourself say things like "If we stay, we need to do this..." or "When we move, I'd like to do that..." It's always talking about the what might be and so you become paralyzed in the present and stopped from carrying out many things! We had been living in transition for almost 3 years! Since we left Northern Ontario two weeks after the birth of our now 3-year old for my husband's work, we've had two "temporary" moves, at first with the intention of moving back North, then to move to Ottawa...

This past summer, we finally decided to stay put. Funny how a decision to stop living in transition can change life... We put a swing set up in the back yard... finally rearranged the girls' rooms around (I have a very happy 6-year old in a very PINK room! And a baby finally in her crib in her own room)... We finished the basement which remained in a state of demolition for over a year... Deciding to stay put and to no longer "live in transition" means that we're finally settling into our home. Finally sorting through boxes we've been carrying around from move to move for TOO long. Finally finding a place for everything and getting rid of a ton of stuff we don't need. It feels GREAT to be getting organized and to allow ourselves to set some roots.

We love our home, our neighbourhood, our church and my daughter's francophone school. We are very blessed and are glad to not constantly hear ourselves talking about possible moves. Does that mean that we will never move? No. I don't put it past God to have other plans for us! But it does mean that we're not talking about it anymore! If and when the right opportunity comes along, then we'll talk, but for now, we're all about living each day to the fullest as we truly settle into our home and our community. Feels great to be home!

Happy New Year!