Flying Solo... and Away

Last week my husband left for Vancouver for the week for the fourth and last session of a 2-year program.  I found myself flying solo on the homefront juggling the girls and work.  I have written about being Home Alone before... Though this time around I had work and puking kids thrown into the mix... that being said, I had more help then ever to care for my sick babe while I rushed off to work, and as a bonus, was pleasantly surprised by the meals I had prepared and hidden in the freezer for times such as this!  So I didn't really feel that alone after all.

I think I was more in overdrive mode as I prepared to go from flying solo, to flying away where I would be meeting my husband out west mid-week for 4 days for his graduation from the Arrow Leadership Program.  It was the first time EVER that our 3 girls would be left alone (without either mom or dad).  My mother-in-law stepped up and was an amazing help with the girls and carried on their school and weekday routine, and had a Saturday with them too. And thankfully my 16-month old was over her flu before I left (and the rest of us didn't catch it!)  

Now it's an interesting thing to prepare for your absence... it entails making many detailed plans and lists for those who will essentially be doing your job while you're away.  I've always said that its so much more work to prepare work for a supply teacher then to be there to teach it yourself... (so true - plans are so much more detailed... and there are only certain types of work you can leave to be done when you're not there to teach...)

How much more true is this on the home front!  Detailed lists for my mother-in-law about swimming lessons and speech therapy appointments, birthday parties, homework and school lunches... Notes for the teachers... Thankfully, I am a highly organized person who did much of the planning ahead of time, so the night before, I just had to look out for myself, pack my bags (and of course comfort crying girls who weren't too excited about me leaving early morn.)

Actually, my 7-year old spoke words that haunted me until I got back... She said she was used to daddy being away as he's had one-week trips before, but I NEVER leave her!  She was afraid she would NEVER see me again... YIKES!  Just what a mom wants to hear as she's about to step onto a plane for a 4-hr flight... We'd worked out a deal, when we were sad and missed each other, we would send each other emails (as time-change wouldn't always allow for us to talk in those moments).  The girls did great and my husband and I had a wonderful time together, and I'm so thankful for my mother-in-law!! (I even got a reorganized pantry, etc. out of the deal!)

We flew back in the wee hours of the morning and were woken up early Sunday morning after 4 hours of sleep by 3 girls SO excited to see us... and yes, I was dying to see my girls too... I've never been away from them for that long!  (I thankfully got to nap in the afternoon after letting my husband sleep-in in the morning!)

Now I'm a few days back into the swing of things at school... we're all sick and coughing like CRAZY.  And despite fighting with my middle-child (who has her daddy's stubborn streak) this morning trying to get her ready for school... it's sure nice to be home.

I missed my girls (and the sunshine... does it truly ever NOT rain in Vancouver?? - that's another story...)  I must say that it was such a blessing to sneak that time away with my man... SO AWESOME and I miss him so much this week after having been with him for 4 days straight!

PANIC MODE

Well I don't know how things are in your part of the world, but around here, the past two weeks, everyone seems to be in complete panic mode regarding the H1N1 flu pandemic...

News of the 13-year old hockey player and now the 2-month old baby who have died of H1N1 have for sure fueled the panic.  Add to that the vaccine shortage... people lining up 5-6 hours to get their shot... people getting turned away because they don't fit into the high risk groups (kids 6 months to 5 year being among the high risk group accepted at the moment).  Lots of indecisiveness and confusion about what to do with the vaccine... We are bombarded by conflicting information on a daily basis.   We have decided to go ahead with the H1N1 vaccine (despite my having been the biggest skeptic when it comes to the regular flu shot, I'm thinking that this isn't the year to be a skeptic and I'm trusting the advice of my friends and family who are in the medical world!)  I'm not writing this to get the debate going about whether to vaccinate or not... that's a personal decision... do your research and decide for yourselves!

Rather, I'm writing to address the mass panic... It is easy to live in fear... in fear of getting sick... in fear of germs everywhere... in fear of our children getting sick and ending up like the kids we've heard about on the news... 

PANIC

FEAR

WORRY

I have caught myself begin to panic a few times over the last couple of weeks... but I just need to recognize it, and change the fear and worrying into prayer... The panic around me has fueled my prayer to God for my children and our family... for health, for protection, and for so much more...

Prayer and looking to God's truths in scripture give me peace as they take my eyes away from my circumstances, and rather remind me that there is an all-knowing, powerful God who is present and at work - not just in a cosmic distant way, but in a close and personal way.  He knows me, my family and everything about us, and even better, He loves us and cares for us.  Prayer keeps me focussed on who God is and melts away fear and worry.

Now does that mean that we will be free from illness, tragedy and heartache in our lives?  No.  But I do believe that God hears our prayers and answers them in ways that He knows are best for us in the long term.  That can be impossible for any of us to understand depending on what we're coping with.  In the face of those difficult times, I do believe that God gives us the strength to handle whatever we are up against just when we need it, and that it somehow fits into a larger plan that I may be unable to make sense of in the moment.

Here are two of my favourite verses that bring me hope and peace - as well as a few others!

"Ah Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and your outstretch arm.  Nothing is too hard for you."  Jeremiah 32:17 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."  1 Peter 5:7

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." - Jesus (Matthew 11:28)

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you"  Isaiah 43:5a

I leave you with this prayer from Romans 15:13 :  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

So much to be thankful for indeed!

At this time last year, I was brand new to this blogging thing and in the early months of a maternity leave, two daughters at home with me and the eldest in school.  Much has changed in the past year, two daughters now in school full-time and one in daycare, a husband back to school just about to wrap up his program, and I'm back to work teaching high school (happy to be part-time only!) and have taken on more editing duties at Mom's Moments.  Life is busy as ever and I long for the quieter days at home!

Many things have not changed however... For one, I'm still blogging (though maybe more sporadically)!  And secondly, as I blogged at this time last year in my post "So much to be thankful for" I'm as thankful as ever for the many blessings in my life!  

Last Thanksgiving, we were surrounded by friends and family as we dedicated our baby girl to God at church.  She's now eating table foods and running all over the place and even starting to articulate a word here and there (that's a change from last year!). I'm as thankful as ever for her and her sisters...

What a blessing my family is to me.  

Happy Thanksgiving to you this year!  Be sure to pause and thank God for all of your blessings as good and perfect gifts come from above!

Excited - The Start of Another Year at Mom's Moments!

We just kicked off the 4th season of Mom's Moments and I made my debut as the editor of both the Mom's Moments newsletter while continuing with the Deeper newsletter.

I am so thankful for all of the wonderful women who are already lined up to write for both newsletters throughout the year, and I'm excited to see what other contributions women will share as they engage in the Mom's Moments community!

Join us!  Subscribe on the website - www.momsmoments.ca and you'll get an email every 2 months (from moi) to keep you up to date with what's new - particularly when the latest newsletters are published! There are awesome topics to be addressed so you won't want to miss it!  Note that Mom's Moments is for all moms... regardless of age, stage in life, backgrounds or beliefs, so check it out!

Looking for more on the faith-front?  Then you won't want to miss the Deeper newsletters and www.deepermoments.ca - Mom's Moments sister site.

Cheers!

Mélanie

Tough Week

This week was a tough one on this working mom.

I've been back to work for a few weeks now, but this week was my 4-year-old-today's first full week of school (full days, five days a week in Jr Kindergarten), as well as my 14 month old's first full week at the daycare.

The first few days kept getting progressively worst... each morning started with me having to peel one off me to get her on the school bus. The crying and screaming would start before we left the house with her wanting to stay home with me and me replying "BUT MOMMY'S NOT EVEN STAYING HOME! I'm going to work!" Ugh...

It continued right until I literally had to plonk her on the front seat of the bus beside her poor concerned older sister (the bus driver later assured me that she was fine once the bus got going).

Thankfully at the end of the day a smiling girl came off the bus after a great day (she just seems to forget that come morning).

My baby's pick-ups at the end of the day... another blow to a mamma's psyche... she didn't want to have anything to do with me! All too happy when I'd drop her off, and crying when she saw me at the end of the day, reaching to be back into the daycare provider's arms... OUCH! One day she even ran over to ANOTHER child's mom, crawled up on her lap to give HER some cuddles... HELLO!? I get that you're mad that I'm abandoning you all day, but I'M YOUR MAMMA!!! Ugh...

Tough to see your baby not want you after having been away all day... It's safe to say that this mamma wishes she could just stay home and take care of her baby herself and put an end to this crazy attachment confusion! At least I know she's happy and well cared for when I'm not with her... but still... tough for a mom to take (my first two didn't do that quite so blatantly! And no, dropping of #3 at the daycare isn't much easier then dropping off your first... it's still tough! At least I know that its going to get better).

The adjustment period is just not always fun is all... It's accompanied with a heavy heart and a good dose of mom guilt.

How I love my girls and long for the slower pace of life which allowed me to put everything else on hold so that I could enjoy my days with them - we had such an amazing spring and summer together!

I now find myself having to cram a lot of house and computer work into my weekends which creeps into my quality time with the kids and leaving me impatient... I'll have to figure that out somehow!

For now, I pray a lot... for our girls... for wisdom and efficiency in how I spend my time... and for me to always remember what's most important in my days when I'm feeling pulled in 1001 directions: my family.

For now I'm thankful that on my birthday at the end of this past week, I had a better day with the girls... drop-offs and pick-ups... And as an aside, another up to my week was that my nearly-7-year-old was intent on my birthday being special. She insisted that we go out to dinner to celebrate and that my husband bring home roses for me. (It's nice to know that at least one of my girls isn't mad at me right now!)

I'm praying for a better week to come for our little family!

Oct. 1st Update:

Its been nearly a week since I wrote the above entry. We're nearing the end of week 2 of one in full-time daycare and the other in full-time JK, and I must say its been a much better week then last week! I'm happy to say that there have been no tears at the bus stop in the mornings, and no tears for the pick-up at the daycare at the end of the day... I'm SO THANKFUL!!! What a change from last week let me tell you... I though I was going to lose my mind.

It's always an adjustment period wen I head back to work, let alone one starting school and another in daycare... the adjustment is not over, there will still be rough days (and this week has been rough in other ways... sickness and constant running with early mornings and very late nights trying to fit everything in... ) but its worlds better then last week with the girls, and I think next week will be even better on all fronts! LOTS OF PRAYER continues to sustain me and our family... and hopefully I can catch up on sleep soon ;)

Starting off the Day

This morning as I lay in bed, I could hear my 6-year-old daughter singing quietly to herself in her bed. What a great way to start the day. I much prefer when she wakes up singing then when I have to wake her up, exhausted on a school day, and she's whining and complaining that she's too tired to get up yet... I choose singing over whining any day of the week! (if only it were my choice to make)

I do have other choices to make that affect my mornings though... will I press snooze, which results in a rushed morning to get myself ready and everyone up and going too... will I eat breakfast right away as I feed the girls, or will I get busy with 1001 tasks only to realize that I'm grumpy because I still haven't eaten (I don't function well without breakfast)... and the one which has the greatest impact on my day: will I sit and take a moment to read my Bible as I eat breakfast before I rush off and continue with the rest of my day (before or after the kids have eaten)...

Why is that last one so significant? Because I find that reading my Bible in the morning sets me up for a better day. It gets me refocused, invites God into my day from the start, and leads to a heart of prayer as I sit in the car driving to work, or doing tasks around the house - praying for my husband, my girls, friends, family, etc. In short, it puts life in perspective and reminds me that God is with me through each moment of my day.

I find that I've not been starting off my day right the past while, and I've been feeling it... impatience... rushing from one task to the next feeling like I'm not getting ahead... I have had seasons where I can pour into deeper studies, and others where I can barely get to just read a brief devotional with reflections written by various people based on a short passage. I'm in a busy season, and knowing that I've been missing the mark too often in past months, I'm back to picking up a devotional, though light, it at least is a start to get me focused in the morning and is better then nothing!

So I may not be able to choose if my daughter will wake up singing or cranky, but I can choose to take even just a minute to refocus my day by reaching for God's Word. What a difference it makes to my day!

Back to Work

So here it is... the moment you block out of your mind while on maternity leave (at least I do!)... the time has come for me to return to work...

I was back last week, but full swing next week with classes starting. I'm thankful that I'll be part-time (for the first time in my life) and have a more flexible morning schedule to be there for the girls before school and daycare. Ah... daycare... it always plays a number on my mind to put one of my babes in daycare... until we get settled and everyone gets accustomed and happy in our new routines. I'll also be there for them as they hop off the bus, so that works out wonderfully!

The first thing I find myself doing is selecting the perfect pictures to print off to have with me at school. It's so easy to get busy with work and not notice it taking over... I don't want to forget my girls in my days and that they need me more than any of my students do. I've learned over time that my only role where I am NOT replaceable is that of being a MOM to my 3 daughters. So when work and other responsibilities start creeping in, I want to remember all the fun we've had this summer so that I continue to prioritize making more time for my girls and family fun during the year when life is busy.

So here we go... another year at work... I already miss my girls. I already missed out on the beautiful sunny days last week and it drives me nuts! And I don't like that I'm turning the computer on again on a more regular basis... I LOVED the break I took this summer from working on the computer!

Speaking of the computer... I am also thankful for the help I've had with Mom's Moments in all the planning that took place last spring, so that I can keep up my newly expanded editing role there without it overwhelming me throughout the year. Great topics and people lined up to write for Mom's Moments and Deeper... I'm excited about that... stay tuned for the latest at www.momsmoments.ca (or rather just subscribe so you don't miss a thing and get an email every 2 months with what's new)!

I have a full plate this year... I pray that I can keep it all in balance! I'm feeling pretty good about it all so far with scaling back to being part-time, but I know it won't be easy to keep it all in check! I would give anything to be home full time... but its not an option for our family at the moment! Such is life... In the meantime, I'm praying for wisdom, PATIENCE, and energy so that I can keep up with everything while not missing out on the important things in life!

Where things go...

Yesterday, we were driving on a country road to go visit a friend in her new home when we went by a dump site. It had high mountains of crushed metal scraps... my 2nd grader was HORRIFIED! Our exchange went something like this...

"Why do they leave that there like that Mom?" she said with passion and extreme concern for this urgent situation.

"What do you want them to do with the garbage, love?" I asked.

"Not just leave it on the Earth!!!"

So on went the discussion as we kept driving about what happens with the things we throw in the garbage. Her response:

"I'm NEVER throwing ANYTHING out again!!"

My response: "Well we better stop buying things too then because it always results in more things needing to be thrown out in the end - packaging, broken things...!"

Well, that was ridiculously over the top to her... and there lies the problem. We are so comfortable in our wasteful lifestyles that any major sacrifice to address the serious issue of waste management becomes a difficult one to tackle on a personal level! It's easy to remain ignorant (I'm not preaching but rather including myself in here) when we don't often see it like we did yesterday and we just see our garbage picked up at the curve to go to some distant land we don't think much of...

And so we continue to live our lives, my daughter with a new awareness of the problem our wastefulness causes for the environment, and perhaps we'll get better and better as a family and a society to make smarter decisions about what we buy and discard.

Side note: For one, I've become much more aware of the amount of waste packaging produces... so that influences what products I put in the shopping cart... ie. I've never liked toilet paper and paper towel that are individually wrapped within their larger package... so much plastic! Now I'm noticing other packaging too... like juice boxes and water bottles... we've been bad for that because they're so convenient and recyclable... but they're still waste that need to be processed and that could be avoided... And what a movement to see all major grocery stores in our area push reusable bags and charge for the plastic ones now! I wonder when other retail stores will follow suit?

You know, my daughter's disgust at those mountains of scrap metal and garbage was a great reminder to me about how desensitized I've become about the whole situation... I truly should feel more of the urgency she did yesterday in the face of the blatant problem of waste management.

Learning from Others

Over the past summer months, I have spent a lot of time with a lot of different people as we've visited family and had various friends staying with us as well.

I've noticed that each home and family has its own rhythm and habits... It's been an interesting thing to observe... from the way parents interact with their spouses and with their kids and neighbours... to their routines and how connected they are in their communities... to their attitudes and habits in the kitchen, the house and the environment!

I've noticed that I've changed as a result of living with my friends and family... It's in the little things really... but it's made a difference in our home at times!

• I've seen kids eating solid foods earlier then I normally introduced it to mine... it actually impacted how my youngest made the transition over to table foods over the summer, and she's a wonderful eater now (except for fresh fruit... I don't know if its the slimy feel of foods she can mush in her hands, but those don't make it to her mouth for some reason...)
• I watched some take a minute to fold a load of laundry as soon as it was out of the dryer. I've found that taking that minute on the spot when I can to deal with one load at a time has avoided "laundry mountain" to pile up and clothes gets put away much faster without me having to set aside a night to "deal" with it!
• I saw some fill the dishwasher as they go... when it comes to the dishes, I was one who couldn't justify using the dishwasher unless I could fill it... but I've now learned that even if I just have one bowl and glass at the moment, it always fills up eventually and its one less job for my list of things to do (even if the dishes are still dirty - at least they're out of sight!)
• Even though I am fairly careful to care for the environment, I've learned that there is still room for improvements in the little things - like filling the juice containers instead of buying juice boxes for their school lunches to reduce waste!
• I saw a mom pull out a chapter book to read to the kids any time there was a lull in the day at the cottage... sure I read to my kids every night, but we haven't gotten into chapter books... hmmmm...
• Seeing how different people operate in their kitchens and how they fit in prepping their meals in their days has motivated me to have a lot more fun in the kitchen (my husband loves to cook... I tend to step aside or do the bare minimum). It's been fun to experiment and cook some great yummy new foods the past while!

There's so much more too... like attitudes and family routines regarding physical activity and health, to safety while on outings, or playtime with the kids, (I even noticed that I sat to play more board games with the kids when we were at the cottage... why don't we make more time for that at home??), etc... 

In short, I have LOVED every moment of visiting with SO MANY friends and family over the summer. I've learned some things along the way, and it's been a joy to get a glimpse into everyone's lives and catch up, hear their hearts, worries, plans and dreams for the future and just have lots of good old plain fun and laugh together.

Thanks to all whom I've crossed paths with over the summer... it's been a blast :) Hopefully we can do it again soon!

Loving Summer

I know most people are complaining about the cold weather we've been having this summer... it truly does feel more like fall most days... I mean we're only one week into August and yesterday I noticed that the leaves on our maple tree in the front yard have started to change colour and a few have already dropped... (that usually doesn't happen until late September/October for the most part!!)  

Yes, the weather has been off the past month or so, but it really hasn't gotten me down much.  There are a few reasons for this I think...  

First, we had BEAUTIFUL weather in the spring and I spent most of it outside with the kids and our neighbours in the back.  So to me being on leave, summer started well before July (which is when the cool weather came around if I do recall...)

Second, when you're expecting rain all the time, you get out and take advantage of every chance you get when the weather's decent!  I've been out and about with the girls a lot this summer and we've been having a ball making the best of each moment. 

Third, I've been loving this semi-technology fast of mine... I've barely been on the computer (no work, just fun to catch up with people now and then), I haven't been a slave to my blackberry (I've been out of cellular range for much of the summer, which has been great!), and I haven't even been watching much TV either.  (though I haven't scrapbooked like I hoped or read my novels for school either... I've been too tired in the evenings from full days! No worries!)

I think I've been having one of my best summers with the kids, and I think it's because I can't recall not being distracted by something or other in the summer... summer courses... prep for new courses I'd have to teach... moving... computer work for Mom's Moments... a brand new baby had me wiped last summer... did I mention packing up a house to move (that happened more than once!)  This summer, I'm just having fun with the girls with no distractions drawing me away.  It's been great.  Also seeing the games that one of my daughters is playing in speech therapy has gotten us all to play more board games together on a regular basis, which has been really neat (and different for us - great for those quiet days when the rain does hit!)  

The tough part has been having my husband still in school while we're out and about visiting (we've been home for a total of 2 out of 6 weeks since school's been out)... visiting the girls' cousins all over the place and spending much time at some cottage or another while daddy's been home alone studying... It can't be easy to study in the summer when your family is on holidays!

We're home for a while now... no more significant travel plans... more bike rides (hopefully more running!?)... more games... more swimming... more trips to the zoo (love our membership!)... more sleep (I'm hoping for me anyway!)... more steps and walking by my 13 month old... more time with my husband... a few visitors... I'm ready to be home and get the house in order (loving our new windows and doors!)... but very much still on holidays and continuing my semi-technology fast!!  I still have 3 weeks before I head back to work, so I'm going to love every last minute (and SO thankful that I'll be part-time with no new courses to prep for Sept!)

Hope you are all enjoying summer and making the best of each moment... as weird as the weather has been (in Ontario anyways)!

Summer Resolutions

School's out for summer... that brings mixed emotions for me...

For sure I'm SOoooo excited that summer is finally here! Tomorrow is Canada Day! The warm weather has arrived... the days at the cottage... the swimming... many days out in the sun... much visiting with family and friends...

But mixed emotions because it means that as my baby girl celebrates her 1st birthday in less then a week, the end of my maternity leave is fast approaching. Though summer is just beginning, I already have the end of it at the back of my mind, as I head back to the classroom in September, and will of course be doing some reading and preparation over the summer. That being said, I'm feeling like I need to do a few things this summer...

Now that we are free from our school and extra-curricular activities, there is less running around, and we're well on our way to relaxing and playing more. I want the girls to rest more (I want us all to rest more).

I'm also feeling the need for a major technology fast. I want to break free from the computer. Though I love the convenience of my Blackberry (new in the last few months), I also really want to get rid of it... it allows me to be at the computer when I'm not at the computer... I just want to get away from the computer altogether!! And I am excited to have reconnected with many dear friends through Facebook in the past month or so, and I particularly love catching up with my family (currently my immediate family in 3 continents and 2 provinces, and extended family in 4 continents and I think 5 provinces). Facebook has been really neat for getting a glimpse into each other's daily lives despite living so far apart! Having said that, I've just turned off all of the email notifications and I've taken the Facebook application off the main screen on my Blackberry... I'm feeling a bit too connected... I just need a break from technology in general... I don't even feel like turning the TV on at night! I will for sure continue to keep in touch with friends and family with Facebook, but not having it so ever-present on my phone will be a welcome break!

I'm thinking I might just pick up my scrapbooking stuff again (after over 3 years) and maybe get a bit caught up. I've also got a few French books to read for September, despite Molière and Les Misérables perhaps not being my first picks for summer reading, it'll be a good break and might just lead to me doing more reading in general!

So, I'm off to spend more time with my three girls... reading lots with my oldest as she becomes a more confident reader, reviewing basics with my 3 1/2 yr old before she starts school in the Fall, and watching my baby getting more steady and quicker on her feet, discovering more table foods and becoming more proficient at drinking milk from a cup. I also look forward to enjoying much time in the water with all 3 - the oldest is my fish, an awesome swimmer, my middle just on the verge of swimming on her own, and the youngest is splasher extraordinaire!

I also look forward to squeezing in whatever quality time we can with daddy when he can manage to take mini breaks from school... (like this past weekend's impromptu trip to the Toronto Zoo).

All in all, I just feel like I have to be even more intentional about how I use my time because I have an acute sense of my time at home being short now!! I want to enjoy every last bit to the fullest before I head back to work!!

Do you have any summer resolutions?

Sweet & Nutty Moments in Life

There are two phrases I seem to hear myself say a lot: "Nothing drives me more nuts then..." and "There's nothing sweeter in the world then..."

The problem is that lately I've been catching myself saying those statements in reference to several different things. I suppose that's the problem with absolute statements like ALWAYS, NEVER and NOTHING... we use them way too frequently... oh well... I thought I'd make lists to go with those two phrases... (in no particular order):

Nothing drives me more nuts then...

• having my peaceful shower interrupted by loud kids barging into the bathroom.
• running out of milk or cereal in the house (that was a pet peeve way back in university!).
• the laundry sitting in baskets waiting to be folded long enough that new loads have to be washed, only adding to the mounds to be folded and put away... making me dread the task all the more (see the vicious cycle?!)
• being woken up too early in the morning by whining kids pulling on my arm to come downstairs... (I much prefer when they crawl in and let me keep sleeping for a while longer!)
• little ones making my chair swivel from side to side when I'm trying to work on the computer...
• the kitchen cupboard door falling off its hinges and onto my toe (needs some loving and slight repair!)
• finding dishes around the house once I've just finished doing the dishes and drained the water... (I really should use the dishwasher more often)
• kids not responding when being called incessantly by another... be it a sibling, friend, or whoever... Respond when someone calls your name please!! (that goes for adults too I suppose!)
• receiving spam from myself... yep, that's my name and email address... but I KNOW I didn't send those!! I wonder who gets spam from me and thinks I sent that junk??? (know that it wasn't me!!)

Now on to the other list... Here's where I want to break into song like Maria in The Sound of Music with "these are a few of my favourite things...", minus the rain drops on roses (though that is beautiful) and whiskers on kittens... (our house is on a Sound of Music kick the past while since my daughter went to see the musical last month) Back to my list (again, in no particular order)...

There's nothing sweeter in the world then...

• the warmth and peace of a sleeping baby curled up in my arms hearing my girls spontaneously start to belt out praise songs to God (though it's not uncommon for them to break into song with ABBA and the Sound of Music these days too... it's sweet, but not the same in the least!).
• hearing the giggles and hearty laughter of our kids and seeing them make each other laugh is even sweeter.
• being out in nature exploring with the girls.
• snuggling in my honey's arms.
• enjoying the company of good friends and family on our back deck, at the cottage, (or anywhere else for that matter!)
• reconnecting with an old friend feeling like you can pick up where you left off.
• being invited to swim in our neighbour's pool with the kids at the end of a HOT summer day!
• putting your list of things to do aside (like cleaning a dirty kitchen) to push giggly girls on the swingset in the backyard after dinner with a bit of hide-and-seek thrown in. Makes everyone's day in the end! (not sure why I don't stop what I'm doing more often to play...)

Next time I hear myself say those phrases with something different... I'll add them to my list! What about you? What drives you the most nuts? What are your sweet and special moments? Post a comment and share!

Bridging the Gap

Today's post is going to be rather different then you'd normally find on my blog... I'm taking part in the BTG synchroblog along with over 50 other bloggers... check out the BTG blog to see the full list and read posts from many different perspectives on how we can "bridge the gap".

A few months ago, our small group from church worked through the pilot study called "Bridging the Gap: Conversations on befriending our gay neighbours" (The executive producer being Wendy Gritter who wrote in the June/July issue of our Deeper Newsletter). I must say with all honesty that going in, I was a bit reluctant, not quite sure of what I was getting into... particularly feeling responsible for having brought a co-worker and friend to the group, unsure of how the topic would be broached...

My attitude changed quickly as I looked over the DVD cover and saw the names of some of the speakers involved... Tony Campolo, Bruxy Cavey, Greg Paul... And I liked the approach they were proposing: this study was not about debating whether homosexuality is right or wrong, rather, we would put all that aside to examine how it is that we as Christians, can love like Jesus, regardless of how different our convictions may be from those around us.

I appreciated the fact that different points of view were represented... There were those who believed that despite being gay, God wanted them to remain celibate, while others believed that God blessed gay marriage but not promiscuity... it's quite the hot topic when faith and sexuality collide... Listening to those sharing their thoughts on the DVD, one could not deny that each person loved God and was dedicated to following Christ, though somehow, they had arrived to different conclusions in their study of the same Bible.

Now this is where many of us Christians might struggle... but as Bruxy challenged us, instead of jumping to conclusions and questioning how people come to hold their convictions, we should give all the benefit of the doubt and get to know them instead of labelling, stereotyping and judging... It's really about individuals, and should not be about an "issue" which dictates an automatic response to every gay person that crosses our path...

I truly feel that the BTG study should be done by so many more as it challenges those of us who are Christians to truly reach out like Jesus did, beyond our comfortable "Christian bubbles". And this in no way means that you need to compromise your own convictions, it's more about examining your responses to others.

The beauty of this study is that it extends well beyond how we interact with the gay people in our lives. It is really about how we can love through deep disagreements, whatever those may be, when it otherwise would be easier to cut people off instead of working through it, accepting that in the end, we may still arrive to different conclusions.

Though I've heard these two words get confused, I do believe that there is a clear difference between tolerance and acceptance. Tolerance has no love. It's cold, indifferent and says: "You stay over there and do your thing, and I'll stay over here and do mine... just don't bug me and we'll be fine..." Whereas acceptance says: "I love you, care about you, and want you to be a part of my life." Acceptance doesn't mean that you need to be like-minded - no two people are completely - so there must be room to disagree and still accept, love and respect one another.

Speaking as a Christian, I must admit that the church (collectively) traditionally has not been good at tolerating or accepting people in the gay community (or anyone who might have different thoughts then us or appear rough around the edges for that matter)...

I was just reading my Bible in Acts 10 and was reminded of how the apostle Peter was challenged in a vision with the fact that God shows no favouritism. Peter assumed that the message of Jesus was for the Jews alone, but he learned that God had sent Jesus for ALL. I recently read this version of Acts 10:34-35 which I loved:

"Peter fairly exploded with his good news: "It's God's own truth, nothing could be plainer: God plays no favorites! It makes no difference who you are or where you're from - if you want God and are ready to do as he says, the door is open." (The Message)

Jesus thankfully doesn't tell us to come to Him when we are perfectly like Him... He'd be left alone... rather, He invites us all to come as we are... Jesus made time for the marginalized and outcasts of the day: the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the lepers... whatever their issues and struggles, He accepted and loved people even when no one else did. If we are to be the body of Christ, His hands and feet, aren't we to love like Him in order to represent Him well in the world instead of building up more walls and cutting more people off who many not look, dress or believe exactly like us??

So what does loving like Jesus mean? Perhaps less judging, less jumping to conclusions, less making people feel terrible about themselves... and more loving unconditionally, more investing in the lives of others, meeting them where they are, even when it's not easy... Once someone has come to the place where they have accepted Jesus as their Saviour, then we can trust God to be at work in their lives, through the Holy Spirit just as He is in ours... He's in the business of changing hearts and lives... and often times, when we're so stuck on what others need to change in their lives, God is trying to show us what we need to change in our own...

Tony Campolo reminded us of this as he discussed the pat answer so many of us Christians use... "Love the sinner, hate the sin"... But really Jesus taught that we are to examine our own lives first and not always be so quick to point the finger!! None of us have life all figured out... More transparency is good... Why is it that we Christians are often afraid for people (in and outside the church) to see our imperfections? We are all a work in progress!

To wrap things up, I strongly recommend getting friends together to work through the 4 week BTG study. It's well worth the time... and you can be sure that you will be stretched by it. The study truly broke the ice for our group, taking us from surface level discussions about faith, to real, honest and deep conversations. It has been tough to transition into a new study as most don't seem to foster such great discussions that get us thinking and talking about various applications in our lives throughout the week!

Visit New Direction for more information or to purchase the BTG study. Also check out who else is blogging in today's BTG synchroblog and see what perspective they bring to the discussion!

Indistinguishable??

The other day my first-grader came off the bus telling me that there was a woman at school who looked just like me. She thought that the office had forgotten to call her down because her mom had come to pick her up...

Her face and hair were EXACTLY like mine...

Then, she told me that she looked at her feet, and didn't recognize her shoes. She was looking to see if she had a bandaged up big toe like mine from having split it open when I stubbed in on the cement the day before.

It's a good thing I stubbed my toe, or apparently, my own daughter would have mistaken someone else for me! You'd think your kids would know you!! Thank God for the little things that distinguish us ;)

The Quest for Independence

A robin built its nest in our doorway this spring.

It's been neat to watch the hovering mom always on the lookout as we'd carefully pass by, hoping she wouldn't dive bomb us in an act to protect her young! Thankfully, we were able to coexist without incident.

We started to see little heads popping up as she would bring them worms to eat, then just last week, the babes left the nest... it doesn't seem like that long ago that she built the nest! (see one of the babies below on its first flight out of the nest... didn't seem too scared by Emma's inquisitive presence... and it seemed bigger then I would have thought!!)

The nest sits empty now...

The quest to assert one's Independence is an interesting and complex one... it involves not only the willingness of the one who is to become independent, but also the willingness of the ones who are used to being depended on to let go... It's almost like a delicate dance...

I can't believe that we're already facing this in our parenting journey with our 6-and-a-half-year-old Julia... I've been seeing glimpses of it now and then... wanting to get milk for her 3-year-old persistent sister to help me out while I'm nursing the baby... or wanting to help me with tasks in the house (when it suits her) to show her competency...

The past little while, I've been seeing it at the pool... SHE wants to wash herself in the shower after her lesson (though she wants help once the shampoo gets in her eyes), SHE wants to brush her own hair, and has even been figuring out how to put it up in a ponytail of sorts! She DOESN'T need help to dry herself off or get dressed... certainly not in a dressing room (even if no one else is around)... and she DOESN'T want to be accompanied to the washroom EITHER!

My baby is growing up! It was frustrating for me today, in the moment, to watch her take FOREVER to get herself ready on her own, when I knew I still needed to get home to get supper ready... and I did, by natural instinct (and impatience) jump in there to speed things up a few times to her protest... But then I stepped back and let her be and do her thing... I did have to smile watching her standing behind her younger sister, both looking in the mirror, taking turns with the brush to do their hair... all by themselves...

As we were walking out, I WASN'T allowed to carry the bag with all the swimming stuff... she even reached for the keys and wanted to unlock the van by herself. When I jokingly asked if she wanted to drive home too, she jumped on it, I think for a moment thinking I was serious! When she clued in that I wasn't, she protested "But I know the way home!"... and that's where I draw the line!

The quest for independence... I know that my parents did a wonderful job of giving us wings at an early age... allowing us to feel confident in our own abilities, while always giving us the security of home... We left for the summers to work at camp, and we all left home early as well, most to finish off our high school in the south (for various opportunities). I hope to learn from their example, when so many today seem crippled... either by their parents' refusal to let go, or by their lack of desire or drive to assert their independence and leave the nest, I'm not sure...

I do pray that each of our girls will grow to become wonderful, confident, compassionate, motivated, loving, independent and capable young women... (and the list goes on!) I just didn't think that the process to independence started so early! It truly seems like yesterday when she was just a tiny 6lbs. 11oz. babe in our arms...

We were so clueless as to what was expected of us as parents! I suppose we still are as we keep entering new phases! The learning curve never ends, does it?

Check it out!

My blog was just posted over at www.5minutesformoms.com. Thought I'd share my interview with you!

No Apologies

Okay, I'm an environmentally-conscious person... I mean, I have a biology undergraduate degree with a focus on ecology... and I do all kinds of things to care for the environment, always trying to be aware to mind the environment when I can...

Though I do strive to live greener, I have found my showers increasingly getting longer the past few months. Now I know it's not ideal, but I don't apologize for it! (my 6-yr old came home one day talking about caring for the environment and she dared ask - along with a long list of things - if I took long showers...BUT I do all sorts of other things!!!)

I didn't used to take long showers. I was all about keeping the hydro bill down and not using so much hot water!

You see, my showers are one of the few moments in the day when I have PEACE! I mean... no one pulling my on arm to do this or that NOW... for those few minutes, I can just block everything and everyone OUT. When I was teaching last year, I had a quiet commute to work (when I wasn't carpooling that is). This year, peace and quiet seem to be rare in the day other then my weekly evening pilates class and the times I manage to get out for a run in the mornings (and even then I have a 3 1/2 year old talking my ear off some days from the stroller!)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to promote disregarding the little things we can do to care of the environment (and reducing our hydro bills!), but I AM saying that it is important to take time out for yourself to keep sane and healthy! Particularly when you have little ones after you every minute of the day (though I'm sure it gets tough as they get older and need to be chauffeured everywhere as well)!

I laughed at my friend's blog post about the need for a bit of space from her young ones... you might relate too!

Letting Men Be Men

Every Wednesday, Sheila Wray Gregoire (author and speaker at marriage conferences), writes about marriage (Wifey Wednesdays) on her blog To Love, Honor and Vacuum. I thought I'd join in on the discussion again today, this time on "Letting Men Be Men" and the differences between men and women... It's just so important to work on keeping our marriages strong, so here I go talking about marriage again...!

In her blog, Sheila talks about her husband being away on a trip with the guys... When we were first married, I didn't get the fact that my man needed so much time with the guys... my dad wasn't like that. He was highly dedicated to our family and worked two full-time jobs... didn't leave room for hanging out with the guys much, though I don't think he would have wanted to. He's a busy man, always on the go. Now my husband is also a motivated go-getter, and dedicated to his family, but I've realized that he's not exactly like my dad, and he's also very different then me in certain respects!

A few things I've had to learn since being married... First, my man LOVES to sleep and has the ability to do so at any time of the day... I've never been one to nap... (until I had kids... and I still rarely nap!). Our girls know that daddy loves to sleep! That will bode well for his starting shift-work in the fall, so that's turned out to be a good thing. However, I, being more of a "sleeping-in-the-day-is-a-waste-of-time-when-there's-so-much-to-do" mind set, took a while to get that we're wired differently, and that's okay. He can nap after school before dinner and wake up refreshed to study in the evening... I'd just wake up groggier, and probably wouldn't fall asleep knowing how much work I have waiting for me anyways!

The second thing I learned (now a bit more on topic!) was that just as friends have always been important to me, so are they to him. And apparently, guys don't talk the same when women are around... I get that now. He has some truly awesome friends. Some that he can just relax and unwind with, and some that he can be real with and talk openly about what's going on in life. I would agree with Sheila that not every guy has that... but women sure are more likely to have a number of girlfriends they can call to vent to when needed!

So when I see him burned out from work (or school at the moment), and he mentions the idea of golfing with a few buds and maybe going out for chicken wings afterwards... I DO want him to go! I'd never want to hear him talk like I've heard other guys, saying "their wives won't let them..." What am I, his ball and chain? I don't think so. I know it's an outlet for him when his brain is fried (his words). Those times with buds, or the guys in our neighbourhood or his brothers/uncles/cousins are few and far in between, so it would take a lot for me to step in to hold him back.

As long as family comes first, that he prioritizes making it home to join us at the dinner table and has some time with all 4 of his girls (me included) on a daily basis... what's a night out now and then? Or an extended golf or snowmobiling trip? Again, too few and far in between, and I get that my man is wired like that. He thrives on that guy time!

Case in point: when at home, though we have a beautiful new deck out back, he tends to be hanging out in the front so that he can be social with our friends in the court as they come and go. The guys will spontaneously pull up a chair and gather in our driveway or garage now and then... he loves that. And the girls love playing with sidewalk chalk or riding their bikes in the court while he's sitting out front, studying or making calls... it works out! But I get that about him. I didn't at first... but so important that I do now! We're actually talking about building some sort of a seating area in the front so he's not always just sitting in the driveway or the garage!! (What is it with men and their garages? It's okay, I'm cool with that!)

Life would be pretty boring if we were all wired the same wouldn't it be?

Happy Birthday J! Glad you'll always be older then me ;)

Mom's Moments makes its Facebook debut!

Okay, I just made my debut on Facebook too, but that's not the issue... I started the Mom's Moments Facebook Group for Moms Moments moms to connect and get to know each other, but more importantly, to get some real honest discussions going about everyday mom stuff.

So join the group, and jump into the discussions, share your tips and tricks of what's worked (or not worked!), or start a new discussion if you've got something else on the brain these days that you'd like to talk about! All are welcome to join... Invite your friends!

Not subscribed to Mom's Moments? You don't know what you're missing... In short, it's all about women sharing to encourage each other as moms through newsletters, online resources and blogs... Subscribe on the website http://www.momsmoments.ca/. The more subscribers, the more voices, the better for all (our kids benefit ;)!

Not on Facebook? I just gave you one good reason to join!

PLEASE NOTE: Mom's Moments and the MM Facebook Group welcome all women, regardless of their age or stage in life, current work or family situations, backgrounds or beliefs. Everyone has something to share, so get in on the discussions and share your insights!

For more of a focus on Christian daily faith and living, and faith & kids, don't miss Mom's Moments sister site/blog: http://www.deepermoments.ca/.

Click here and be one of the first to join us on Facebook! We'd love to hear what you have to add to the discussions!

Why? Why? Whhhhhy?

I can still hear the lamenting voice crying out. The girls and I were going around the block, the older two on their bikes while I pushed the baby in the stroller. We could hear the haunting voice as we approached not able to make out who or what it was.

The scene was a sad one. An elderly man in his front lawn attempting to do yard work, while having to continually direct his wife on the balcony to sit back down when passerbys would come... she was standing, holding onto the railing looking at us crying out such a heart-wrenching, repeated "Whhhhhy? Whhhhhhy? Whhhhhhy?"

The second time around, the man felt the need to explain when our eyes crossed. I greeted him as I walked by, and he quickly exclaimed "She has Alzheimer's."

"It can't be easy." I responded not sure what to say.

"Not for her!" he replied.

The inevitable questions from my 6 year old abounded... mainly: "What's wrong with her mom?"

And so began a lesson about how people don't just get sick in their bodies, but sometimes people get sick in their brain... their brain doesn't work well like ours anymore... they forget things... even people they love...

We continued on our bike ride, and once we got home, I said "We need to thank God for our health, don't we!?"

She then asked "Will she get better?"

Hmmmm. Another sad lesson to learn... not only can our bodies and our brains get sick... but people don't always get better, in fact sometimes they just keep getting worst.

So my sweet Julia added "Thank God that we only have little bobos that need bandaids and medication and we get better!"

And so we thank God for our physical and mental health today!

Discovery

I remember when I was pregnant with my 2nd, working in the church nursery with these babies who seemingly did NOTHING. The thought of starting all over after having grown accustomed to my mobile, verbal and more independent 2-year old momentarily freaked me out to be honest.

But then the new babe came and she captured us right away. I had already forgotten how amazing it was to watch our first discover so many simple pleasures in life on a daily basis as so much changes in that first year!

And now I find myself there for a 3rd time... enjoying witnessing my now 10-month-old discover the world for the first time... and the cool thing is that her two older sisters are loving watching her discover, learn and grow as well...

... the fun of splashing in the bath (oh and I mean SPLASHING)... the sheer joy as she figures out how to clap her hands for the first time... the prideful smile as she pulls herself up to standing and slaps the table to rejoice... the satisfaction of having successfully picked up a Cheerio and actually getting it to her mouth... the exhilaration of being pushed on the swings with the wind in her hair... and the discovery that stairs are meant to be climbed...



Who knew that discovering the simple things in life could be so exciting each and every time. Makes us smile on a daily basis with every giggle and new discovery.

The Early Years of Marriage

Every Wednesday, Sheila Wray Gregoire (author and speaker at marriage conferences), writes about marriage (Wifey Wednesdays) on her blog To Love, Honor and Vacuum. I thought I'd join in on the discussion today on "What It Means to Become One" - the idea being that yes "two shall become one" when they marry... but you don't always "feel" as ONE instantaneously. So, what does it mean to become one?

Last weekend, driving to a family wedding, I was telling my husband J.D. how exciting and scary a wedding day can be! So much time, money and preparation spent on the one day, with the hopes that we'll be the ones to overcome the odds and have a marriage that lasts forever. Scary stuff that will make anyone nervous! The wedding was beautiful, and the poor groom fainted during the vows. There was never any question that he deeply loves his bride as they've always made a dynamo team. But it did confirm my thoughts not even 1 hour before... marriage is a scary thing in our society at the outset regardless of who you are!

When J.D. and I were first married, I quickly realized that we communicated VERY differently. I lay it all out there... I speak before I think... rather, I speak to figure out what I'm thinking... I don't hold anything back... whereas he would speak up when he felt he had it all figured out - which was not often enough to my liking. It used to infuriate me that he could be so open with others, but had a hard time with me for some reason... it drove me nuts that he wouldn't let me in on the "process" as he was working through whatever it was... oh and the insecurities and questions that crept in on my end...

I think the best "you-really-don't-get-me" moment took place in our first year of marriage. I was a first year teacher, we were living in a remote community away from friends and family. One day as I was just overwhelmed by everything, I broke down in tears. All I wanted in that moment was for him to hold me... But instead he was getting more and more frustrated with me because I couldn't tell him exactly WHY I was crying...

"I took psychology, Melanie, I know there has to be a reason!" he insisted!!!

Okay, so he may not have taken the psychology of women! (my poor husband, he's heard me tell that story more than once...) I can tell it now, and we laugh, because we've come such a long way in our 9 years of marriage! He's learned to let me cry when the occasion arises even if he doesn't get it... and he doesn't hold everything back until he has it all figured out... I'm now part of the process... he knows he can throw ideas out there and I'm not going to hold him to them, or freak out if he changes his mind... he knows that he can trust me to let him think through whatever issue, share as he pleases, and work it out.

Though various factors have no doubt contributed to his sharing more freely with me, an important factor has been that I've been learning to become a better LISTENER. Not one of my strong points. I love that he feels he can share his crazy ideas, fears and dreams with me now, and I do my best to not overreact off the top and to listen... still a work in progress!

I don't think you ever master the communication thing... but I truly think that as we learn to prioritize spending time together so that we can keep listening to each other to get to know what the other is thinking and feeling on a daily basis, that's how we begin to feel more as ONE strong team who can tackle the ins and outs of life together.

Last March/April, we did a 3 week series on marriage at our church called 4 Keeps. It was awesome and looked at how we communicate, solve problems, and ALL kinds of other things... ;) Definitely worth a listen!

Mamma Mia!

The past number of months, I've had a 3 and 6 year old who will break into song out of the blue with various Mamma Mia! tunes at the top of their lungs (doesn't matter where we are either... for the 3 year old anyway!)

They were introduced to ABBA by their aunt, cousin and grandmother and have been singing the songs non-stop ever since! It's been an experience for daddy! It's a good thing I like to sing and dance along! I think I would have put off their discovery of Mamma Mia! until they were a bit older though... some of the lyrics are rather ahead of their time!

"Mom, what does: 'Give me, Give me, Give me a man after midnight' mean?"

Oh boy...

On the one hand, I've had to repeatedly remind my nearly 4-year old that even if they slide down the banister and jump on the bed in Mamma Mia!, it doesn't mean that it's okay!... And on the other, my 6 year old inquisitive daughter has been dissecting the lyrics to the songs with her incredible memory, asking me about this line, and that... The movie and songs have actually sparked some great conversations with her which has been great. She's had so many questions, such as...

"Sophie is 20! She's not old enough to get married, is she?... Is she old enough to babysit?"

Then came this question:

"Mom, what does 'Don't go wasting your emotions... lay all your love on me' mean?"

I don't tend to over-spiritualize everything with my kids, but as I stopped to think about it, this is the only response that really made sense to me (though she gets that it's not really what they meant in the movie - but this is what makes more sense)...

"That's exactly what God wants us to do! He wants us to stop wasting our emotions on things like worry and fear, and instead to lay all our love on Him! When we love Him first and remember how much He loves us, then we can stop wasting our emotions on some of those other things that drain us for nothing..."

God speaking through an ABBA song? Who knew. It does jive with so many verses in the Bible though...

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

Are you "wasting" your emotions? It's so easy to get wrapped up in our daily troubles and allow them to consume us... God's there calling us to lift our eyes from our "stuff" that so entangles us, and to look to Him for peace...

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I love how our pastor put it in his sermon entitled "Worry-Less Living" in April... He called it "The Phil 4-6 Principle": Worry about NOTHING, Pray about EVERYTHING.

So easily said... I just need to remember it when it matters!

(As posted on the Deeper Moments blog)

A better mom outdoors?

Yesterday, the notion came to me that I seem to be a better mom when I'm outdoors. It feels that way these days anyway...

It's so easy to get cooped up in the house in the winter with the cold and blowing snow... Now that the sun and warmth are here, I'm finding myself making a point of getting outside with the kids more.

Bike rides around the block, playtime at the park, taking the younger two for a stroll in the double running stroller as I go for a run, playing on our swing set or hopping the fence to sit with my neighbour in the back as our kids play together (we've been doing that a lot the past couple of weeks - it's been great spontaneous play dates!)

Why a better mom outdoors? Because when I'm out of the house, other than the odd weed needing to be pulled, there are fewer distractions... no dirty dishes, laundry or toys in the middle of the floor to deal with, no computer or phone calling my name... Just me and the kids, the birds, the squirrels and the odd bunny rabbit. We're silly, we're active, we laugh, we stop to notice things in nature... No one tugging on my arm trying to take me away from whatever task is causing me to only half listen to their pleas...

I always feel good about the days spent outside... and I usually don't feel so great when the distractions in the house leave me feeling like I've neglected the kids at the end of the day.

Outdoors I relax. I enjoy the kids and the sunshine. I feel alive.

Today is a bit of both... bed sheets and bathrooms needing to be cleaned before the long weekend, a few things to wrap up on the computer... but I won't miss out on heading outdoors when the baby wakes up. It's too beautiful out! If only I could forget the responsibilities that await me indoors altogether!

Have you been getting outdoors?

I did it!

I finally managed to lace up my running shoes and head for my first run in... dare I say 2 years!? I can't remember if I've had any runs in there, but it was two springs ago since I was last running on a regular basis...

And it felt GREAT!

Since the snow has melted and the warmer weather has hit I've just been dying to get out for a run again!! Without fail, the spring always calls me to lace up my running shoes!

I was all showered and dressed as we went to catch the school bus for my oldest (I'm often half in my PJ's, throw on pants and a jacket and out the door I run!).

But not today. No today, I even had time to blow dry my hair before we left the house. But still, the sunshine and the cool spring breeze were just calling me... today was the day... I had to run! Even if it meant having to shower again later...

So off I went to quickly change my clothes and tie back my hair... I was pushing over 50 pounds worth of kids in my double running stroller, loving every bit of it... and my old ab injury didn't even show it's face... thanks to my Pilates classes I'm sure!

Backtracking a bit... The funny thing is that I was supposed to go for a run with my friend and neighbour last week, but had to cancel last minute because one of the kids had the flu. Saved by the puke, I guess!

To be honest, I was nervous about going for my first run with someone I'd never run with before! Will she be fast? Does she talk when she runs? Will I be able to keep up? Will my old ab injury flare up again as it usually does when I first start running after having a baby?

I really like to work my way back into running by myself. I like to know how my body is feeling and take it at my own pace, always fearing that I'll re-injure myself. Today I put those fears to rest. I was able to jump right back in and bounced back better then after past pregnancies. What a relief!

Sure I felt slow and I know I have a ways to go before I start adding interval sprint work in my runs... but it was an awesome start! And as a bonus, my arms even got a workout from pushing that running stroller! You see, you have to pull down on the stroller to turn corners as the front wheel doesn't swivel (better for running... but not for sharp corners!) It sure adds a great workout for the arms when you've got a 3 1/2 year old and a 10 month old in toe let me tell you!

I don't know the last time I ran without a stroller... so that will be a light and freeing change I think when I do manage to sneak away for a run with my neighbour!

It sure is different to run with a kid who is old enough to talk though... Oh the QUESTIONS! "Run mom!" as I was barely out of the driveway... "Where are we going mom?"... "Why are you running mom?"... "Where are we mom?"... "Why are you saying Hi! Hi! Hi! mom?"...

Hmmmmm... Poses an interesting question: Should I be ignoring friendly trail goers as they walk their dogs to teach my child not to talk to strangers?? So I manage to respond through my heavy breathing:

"Mommy can say hello to strangers... but not you kids..." Yikes! I was just in a great mood, so happy to be running again, greeting people as they greeted me felt natural in my state of mind!

So there it is. I just jumped the biggest hurdle. Went for that first run. Phew! Felt awesome, I can't believe it's been so long, and now I can't wait for my next run! I wonder how my body will feel in the morning?