Summer Resolutions

School's out for summer... that brings mixed emotions for me...

For sure I'm SOoooo excited that summer is finally here! Tomorrow is Canada Day! The warm weather has arrived... the days at the cottage... the swimming... many days out in the sun... much visiting with family and friends...

But mixed emotions because it means that as my baby girl celebrates her 1st birthday in less then a week, the end of my maternity leave is fast approaching. Though summer is just beginning, I already have the end of it at the back of my mind, as I head back to the classroom in September, and will of course be doing some reading and preparation over the summer. That being said, I'm feeling like I need to do a few things this summer...

Now that we are free from our school and extra-curricular activities, there is less running around, and we're well on our way to relaxing and playing more. I want the girls to rest more (I want us all to rest more).

I'm also feeling the need for a major technology fast. I want to break free from the computer. Though I love the convenience of my Blackberry (new in the last few months), I also really want to get rid of it... it allows me to be at the computer when I'm not at the computer... I just want to get away from the computer altogether!! And I am excited to have reconnected with many dear friends through Facebook in the past month or so, and I particularly love catching up with my family (currently my immediate family in 3 continents and 2 provinces, and extended family in 4 continents and I think 5 provinces). Facebook has been really neat for getting a glimpse into each other's daily lives despite living so far apart! Having said that, I've just turned off all of the email notifications and I've taken the Facebook application off the main screen on my Blackberry... I'm feeling a bit too connected... I just need a break from technology in general... I don't even feel like turning the TV on at night! I will for sure continue to keep in touch with friends and family with Facebook, but not having it so ever-present on my phone will be a welcome break!

I'm thinking I might just pick up my scrapbooking stuff again (after over 3 years) and maybe get a bit caught up. I've also got a few French books to read for September, despite Molière and Les Misérables perhaps not being my first picks for summer reading, it'll be a good break and might just lead to me doing more reading in general!

So, I'm off to spend more time with my three girls... reading lots with my oldest as she becomes a more confident reader, reviewing basics with my 3 1/2 yr old before she starts school in the Fall, and watching my baby getting more steady and quicker on her feet, discovering more table foods and becoming more proficient at drinking milk from a cup. I also look forward to enjoying much time in the water with all 3 - the oldest is my fish, an awesome swimmer, my middle just on the verge of swimming on her own, and the youngest is splasher extraordinaire!

I also look forward to squeezing in whatever quality time we can with daddy when he can manage to take mini breaks from school... (like this past weekend's impromptu trip to the Toronto Zoo).

All in all, I just feel like I have to be even more intentional about how I use my time because I have an acute sense of my time at home being short now!! I want to enjoy every last bit to the fullest before I head back to work!!

Do you have any summer resolutions?

Sweet & Nutty Moments in Life

There are two phrases I seem to hear myself say a lot: "Nothing drives me more nuts then..." and "There's nothing sweeter in the world then..."

The problem is that lately I've been catching myself saying those statements in reference to several different things. I suppose that's the problem with absolute statements like ALWAYS, NEVER and NOTHING... we use them way too frequently... oh well... I thought I'd make lists to go with those two phrases... (in no particular order):

Nothing drives me more nuts then...

• having my peaceful shower interrupted by loud kids barging into the bathroom.
• running out of milk or cereal in the house (that was a pet peeve way back in university!).
• the laundry sitting in baskets waiting to be folded long enough that new loads have to be washed, only adding to the mounds to be folded and put away... making me dread the task all the more (see the vicious cycle?!)
• being woken up too early in the morning by whining kids pulling on my arm to come downstairs... (I much prefer when they crawl in and let me keep sleeping for a while longer!)
• little ones making my chair swivel from side to side when I'm trying to work on the computer...
• the kitchen cupboard door falling off its hinges and onto my toe (needs some loving and slight repair!)
• finding dishes around the house once I've just finished doing the dishes and drained the water... (I really should use the dishwasher more often)
• kids not responding when being called incessantly by another... be it a sibling, friend, or whoever... Respond when someone calls your name please!! (that goes for adults too I suppose!)
• receiving spam from myself... yep, that's my name and email address... but I KNOW I didn't send those!! I wonder who gets spam from me and thinks I sent that junk??? (know that it wasn't me!!)

Now on to the other list... Here's where I want to break into song like Maria in The Sound of Music with "these are a few of my favourite things...", minus the rain drops on roses (though that is beautiful) and whiskers on kittens... (our house is on a Sound of Music kick the past while since my daughter went to see the musical last month) Back to my list (again, in no particular order)...

There's nothing sweeter in the world then...

• the warmth and peace of a sleeping baby curled up in my arms hearing my girls spontaneously start to belt out praise songs to God (though it's not uncommon for them to break into song with ABBA and the Sound of Music these days too... it's sweet, but not the same in the least!).
• hearing the giggles and hearty laughter of our kids and seeing them make each other laugh is even sweeter.
• being out in nature exploring with the girls.
• snuggling in my honey's arms.
• enjoying the company of good friends and family on our back deck, at the cottage, (or anywhere else for that matter!)
• reconnecting with an old friend feeling like you can pick up where you left off.
• being invited to swim in our neighbour's pool with the kids at the end of a HOT summer day!
• putting your list of things to do aside (like cleaning a dirty kitchen) to push giggly girls on the swingset in the backyard after dinner with a bit of hide-and-seek thrown in. Makes everyone's day in the end! (not sure why I don't stop what I'm doing more often to play...)

Next time I hear myself say those phrases with something different... I'll add them to my list! What about you? What drives you the most nuts? What are your sweet and special moments? Post a comment and share!

Bridging the Gap

Today's post is going to be rather different then you'd normally find on my blog... I'm taking part in the BTG synchroblog along with over 50 other bloggers... check out the BTG blog to see the full list and read posts from many different perspectives on how we can "bridge the gap".

A few months ago, our small group from church worked through the pilot study called "Bridging the Gap: Conversations on befriending our gay neighbours" (The executive producer being Wendy Gritter who wrote in the June/July issue of our Deeper Newsletter). I must say with all honesty that going in, I was a bit reluctant, not quite sure of what I was getting into... particularly feeling responsible for having brought a co-worker and friend to the group, unsure of how the topic would be broached...

My attitude changed quickly as I looked over the DVD cover and saw the names of some of the speakers involved... Tony Campolo, Bruxy Cavey, Greg Paul... And I liked the approach they were proposing: this study was not about debating whether homosexuality is right or wrong, rather, we would put all that aside to examine how it is that we as Christians, can love like Jesus, regardless of how different our convictions may be from those around us.

I appreciated the fact that different points of view were represented... There were those who believed that despite being gay, God wanted them to remain celibate, while others believed that God blessed gay marriage but not promiscuity... it's quite the hot topic when faith and sexuality collide... Listening to those sharing their thoughts on the DVD, one could not deny that each person loved God and was dedicated to following Christ, though somehow, they had arrived to different conclusions in their study of the same Bible.

Now this is where many of us Christians might struggle... but as Bruxy challenged us, instead of jumping to conclusions and questioning how people come to hold their convictions, we should give all the benefit of the doubt and get to know them instead of labelling, stereotyping and judging... It's really about individuals, and should not be about an "issue" which dictates an automatic response to every gay person that crosses our path...

I truly feel that the BTG study should be done by so many more as it challenges those of us who are Christians to truly reach out like Jesus did, beyond our comfortable "Christian bubbles". And this in no way means that you need to compromise your own convictions, it's more about examining your responses to others.

The beauty of this study is that it extends well beyond how we interact with the gay people in our lives. It is really about how we can love through deep disagreements, whatever those may be, when it otherwise would be easier to cut people off instead of working through it, accepting that in the end, we may still arrive to different conclusions.

Though I've heard these two words get confused, I do believe that there is a clear difference between tolerance and acceptance. Tolerance has no love. It's cold, indifferent and says: "You stay over there and do your thing, and I'll stay over here and do mine... just don't bug me and we'll be fine..." Whereas acceptance says: "I love you, care about you, and want you to be a part of my life." Acceptance doesn't mean that you need to be like-minded - no two people are completely - so there must be room to disagree and still accept, love and respect one another.

Speaking as a Christian, I must admit that the church (collectively) traditionally has not been good at tolerating or accepting people in the gay community (or anyone who might have different thoughts then us or appear rough around the edges for that matter)...

I was just reading my Bible in Acts 10 and was reminded of how the apostle Peter was challenged in a vision with the fact that God shows no favouritism. Peter assumed that the message of Jesus was for the Jews alone, but he learned that God had sent Jesus for ALL. I recently read this version of Acts 10:34-35 which I loved:

"Peter fairly exploded with his good news: "It's God's own truth, nothing could be plainer: God plays no favorites! It makes no difference who you are or where you're from - if you want God and are ready to do as he says, the door is open." (The Message)

Jesus thankfully doesn't tell us to come to Him when we are perfectly like Him... He'd be left alone... rather, He invites us all to come as we are... Jesus made time for the marginalized and outcasts of the day: the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the lepers... whatever their issues and struggles, He accepted and loved people even when no one else did. If we are to be the body of Christ, His hands and feet, aren't we to love like Him in order to represent Him well in the world instead of building up more walls and cutting more people off who many not look, dress or believe exactly like us??

So what does loving like Jesus mean? Perhaps less judging, less jumping to conclusions, less making people feel terrible about themselves... and more loving unconditionally, more investing in the lives of others, meeting them where they are, even when it's not easy... Once someone has come to the place where they have accepted Jesus as their Saviour, then we can trust God to be at work in their lives, through the Holy Spirit just as He is in ours... He's in the business of changing hearts and lives... and often times, when we're so stuck on what others need to change in their lives, God is trying to show us what we need to change in our own...

Tony Campolo reminded us of this as he discussed the pat answer so many of us Christians use... "Love the sinner, hate the sin"... But really Jesus taught that we are to examine our own lives first and not always be so quick to point the finger!! None of us have life all figured out... More transparency is good... Why is it that we Christians are often afraid for people (in and outside the church) to see our imperfections? We are all a work in progress!

To wrap things up, I strongly recommend getting friends together to work through the 4 week BTG study. It's well worth the time... and you can be sure that you will be stretched by it. The study truly broke the ice for our group, taking us from surface level discussions about faith, to real, honest and deep conversations. It has been tough to transition into a new study as most don't seem to foster such great discussions that get us thinking and talking about various applications in our lives throughout the week!

Visit New Direction for more information or to purchase the BTG study. Also check out who else is blogging in today's BTG synchroblog and see what perspective they bring to the discussion!

Indistinguishable??

The other day my first-grader came off the bus telling me that there was a woman at school who looked just like me. She thought that the office had forgotten to call her down because her mom had come to pick her up...

Her face and hair were EXACTLY like mine...

Then, she told me that she looked at her feet, and didn't recognize her shoes. She was looking to see if she had a bandaged up big toe like mine from having split it open when I stubbed in on the cement the day before.

It's a good thing I stubbed my toe, or apparently, my own daughter would have mistaken someone else for me! You'd think your kids would know you!! Thank God for the little things that distinguish us ;)

The Quest for Independence

A robin built its nest in our doorway this spring.

It's been neat to watch the hovering mom always on the lookout as we'd carefully pass by, hoping she wouldn't dive bomb us in an act to protect her young! Thankfully, we were able to coexist without incident.

We started to see little heads popping up as she would bring them worms to eat, then just last week, the babes left the nest... it doesn't seem like that long ago that she built the nest! (see one of the babies below on its first flight out of the nest... didn't seem too scared by Emma's inquisitive presence... and it seemed bigger then I would have thought!!)

The nest sits empty now...

The quest to assert one's Independence is an interesting and complex one... it involves not only the willingness of the one who is to become independent, but also the willingness of the ones who are used to being depended on to let go... It's almost like a delicate dance...

I can't believe that we're already facing this in our parenting journey with our 6-and-a-half-year-old Julia... I've been seeing glimpses of it now and then... wanting to get milk for her 3-year-old persistent sister to help me out while I'm nursing the baby... or wanting to help me with tasks in the house (when it suits her) to show her competency...

The past little while, I've been seeing it at the pool... SHE wants to wash herself in the shower after her lesson (though she wants help once the shampoo gets in her eyes), SHE wants to brush her own hair, and has even been figuring out how to put it up in a ponytail of sorts! She DOESN'T need help to dry herself off or get dressed... certainly not in a dressing room (even if no one else is around)... and she DOESN'T want to be accompanied to the washroom EITHER!

My baby is growing up! It was frustrating for me today, in the moment, to watch her take FOREVER to get herself ready on her own, when I knew I still needed to get home to get supper ready... and I did, by natural instinct (and impatience) jump in there to speed things up a few times to her protest... But then I stepped back and let her be and do her thing... I did have to smile watching her standing behind her younger sister, both looking in the mirror, taking turns with the brush to do their hair... all by themselves...

As we were walking out, I WASN'T allowed to carry the bag with all the swimming stuff... she even reached for the keys and wanted to unlock the van by herself. When I jokingly asked if she wanted to drive home too, she jumped on it, I think for a moment thinking I was serious! When she clued in that I wasn't, she protested "But I know the way home!"... and that's where I draw the line!

The quest for independence... I know that my parents did a wonderful job of giving us wings at an early age... allowing us to feel confident in our own abilities, while always giving us the security of home... We left for the summers to work at camp, and we all left home early as well, most to finish off our high school in the south (for various opportunities). I hope to learn from their example, when so many today seem crippled... either by their parents' refusal to let go, or by their lack of desire or drive to assert their independence and leave the nest, I'm not sure...

I do pray that each of our girls will grow to become wonderful, confident, compassionate, motivated, loving, independent and capable young women... (and the list goes on!) I just didn't think that the process to independence started so early! It truly seems like yesterday when she was just a tiny 6lbs. 11oz. babe in our arms...

We were so clueless as to what was expected of us as parents! I suppose we still are as we keep entering new phases! The learning curve never ends, does it?

Check it out!

My blog was just posted over at www.5minutesformoms.com. Thought I'd share my interview with you!

No Apologies

Okay, I'm an environmentally-conscious person... I mean, I have a biology undergraduate degree with a focus on ecology... and I do all kinds of things to care for the environment, always trying to be aware to mind the environment when I can...

Though I do strive to live greener, I have found my showers increasingly getting longer the past few months. Now I know it's not ideal, but I don't apologize for it! (my 6-yr old came home one day talking about caring for the environment and she dared ask - along with a long list of things - if I took long showers...BUT I do all sorts of other things!!!)

I didn't used to take long showers. I was all about keeping the hydro bill down and not using so much hot water!

You see, my showers are one of the few moments in the day when I have PEACE! I mean... no one pulling my on arm to do this or that NOW... for those few minutes, I can just block everything and everyone OUT. When I was teaching last year, I had a quiet commute to work (when I wasn't carpooling that is). This year, peace and quiet seem to be rare in the day other then my weekly evening pilates class and the times I manage to get out for a run in the mornings (and even then I have a 3 1/2 year old talking my ear off some days from the stroller!)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to promote disregarding the little things we can do to care of the environment (and reducing our hydro bills!), but I AM saying that it is important to take time out for yourself to keep sane and healthy! Particularly when you have little ones after you every minute of the day (though I'm sure it gets tough as they get older and need to be chauffeured everywhere as well)!

I laughed at my friend's blog post about the need for a bit of space from her young ones... you might relate too!

Letting Men Be Men

Every Wednesday, Sheila Wray Gregoire (author and speaker at marriage conferences), writes about marriage (Wifey Wednesdays) on her blog To Love, Honor and Vacuum. I thought I'd join in on the discussion again today, this time on "Letting Men Be Men" and the differences between men and women... It's just so important to work on keeping our marriages strong, so here I go talking about marriage again...!

In her blog, Sheila talks about her husband being away on a trip with the guys... When we were first married, I didn't get the fact that my man needed so much time with the guys... my dad wasn't like that. He was highly dedicated to our family and worked two full-time jobs... didn't leave room for hanging out with the guys much, though I don't think he would have wanted to. He's a busy man, always on the go. Now my husband is also a motivated go-getter, and dedicated to his family, but I've realized that he's not exactly like my dad, and he's also very different then me in certain respects!

A few things I've had to learn since being married... First, my man LOVES to sleep and has the ability to do so at any time of the day... I've never been one to nap... (until I had kids... and I still rarely nap!). Our girls know that daddy loves to sleep! That will bode well for his starting shift-work in the fall, so that's turned out to be a good thing. However, I, being more of a "sleeping-in-the-day-is-a-waste-of-time-when-there's-so-much-to-do" mind set, took a while to get that we're wired differently, and that's okay. He can nap after school before dinner and wake up refreshed to study in the evening... I'd just wake up groggier, and probably wouldn't fall asleep knowing how much work I have waiting for me anyways!

The second thing I learned (now a bit more on topic!) was that just as friends have always been important to me, so are they to him. And apparently, guys don't talk the same when women are around... I get that now. He has some truly awesome friends. Some that he can just relax and unwind with, and some that he can be real with and talk openly about what's going on in life. I would agree with Sheila that not every guy has that... but women sure are more likely to have a number of girlfriends they can call to vent to when needed!

So when I see him burned out from work (or school at the moment), and he mentions the idea of golfing with a few buds and maybe going out for chicken wings afterwards... I DO want him to go! I'd never want to hear him talk like I've heard other guys, saying "their wives won't let them..." What am I, his ball and chain? I don't think so. I know it's an outlet for him when his brain is fried (his words). Those times with buds, or the guys in our neighbourhood or his brothers/uncles/cousins are few and far in between, so it would take a lot for me to step in to hold him back.

As long as family comes first, that he prioritizes making it home to join us at the dinner table and has some time with all 4 of his girls (me included) on a daily basis... what's a night out now and then? Or an extended golf or snowmobiling trip? Again, too few and far in between, and I get that my man is wired like that. He thrives on that guy time!

Case in point: when at home, though we have a beautiful new deck out back, he tends to be hanging out in the front so that he can be social with our friends in the court as they come and go. The guys will spontaneously pull up a chair and gather in our driveway or garage now and then... he loves that. And the girls love playing with sidewalk chalk or riding their bikes in the court while he's sitting out front, studying or making calls... it works out! But I get that about him. I didn't at first... but so important that I do now! We're actually talking about building some sort of a seating area in the front so he's not always just sitting in the driveway or the garage!! (What is it with men and their garages? It's okay, I'm cool with that!)

Life would be pretty boring if we were all wired the same wouldn't it be?

Happy Birthday J! Glad you'll always be older then me ;)