Doesn't the world revolve around ME?

Well... NO. Two thoughts... First, as kids, we innately seem to have the "me, me, me - mine - I want, I want - NOW" mindset from the start. Though if you (like me) have siblings, reality settles in a bit faster that the world just doesn't work like that... at the very least, you figure it out when you start school... there are in fact other people around and no, its not all about me and my entitlement.

Second thought... we, for the most part, live a life of privilege in North America. I once heard a parent tell the story of their son (living in a beautiful lakefront log home) who at the age of 3 asked a friend: "What lake do you live on?" Doesn't everyone have the same life as me? Why wouldn't a child think that way... unless they're taught (and that boy was sure enlightened that day!)

So, these two thoughts lead me to this... in our highly self-absorbed privileged society, there's a lesson I feel I need to instill in my children... essentially, it's one of compassion... becoming aware of others' needs around us - whether they are poor, sick, oppressed, or just different...

The teachable moments have been quite sporadic in the past years, but seem to be peeking with my oldest daughter these days, and I'm feeling like I've got to seize the moment! We have donated non-perishables to the local food bank and hygienic products and clothes to an inner city church's drop-in center as she's been learning about the needs of others in our community at school and in Sunday school. This will extend nicely into November as I love taking the opportunity to put together a shoe box for Operation Christmas Child - going to the store together to buy NOTHING for us, but only for a child or two in other parts of the world who don't have all that we have... I enjoy watching my daughter thinking about what that child should have, might need, and what might make them happy as we walk down the aisles of the department store. That's been a wonderful experience in the past, though I was so busy with work last year, I totally missed the boat. I'm more on the ball this year!

I also want to make the kids more aware of our sponsored children (one through World Vision and the other through Compassion Canada), reading the letters, writing letters and sending pictures and artwork from the kids... I've ben really slacking on that front... I'd like to put the pictures of the children on our fridge so that we don't so easily forget about them as a family, but rather can begin to pray for them and maybe spark conversations with our kids with a more frequent reminder of those around the world who are less privileged. I think that seeing the faces and drawings of our sponsored children and knowing more about them and where they live (geography lessons while we're at it!) will also make the experience of preparing our Christmas shoe boxes that much more real for them.

There are wonderful opportunities out there to teach our children about compassion. About loving our neighbour (locally and abroad). Recognizing the needs of others and taking action to make a difference. Friends of ours began "Trick or Treat for Hope" which gets the youth in the community involved to collect non-perishables for the local food bank every year at Halloween. There are all kinds of things we can do! I hope to be more intentional about not letting those teachable moments so easily slip by!

At some point, I also want to introduce my children to Craig Kielburger, who at the age of 12 in his home in Canada was hit by the image of a boy on the front page of the newspaper who was in a world of child labour a world away. That sparked a passion in him, and he went to school that day and rallied his friends to care as well. They formed "Free the Children" whose slogan is "children helping children through education". Now in his 20s and a university graduate, he travels as a motivational speaker with his "Be the Change" tour, challenging young people to not sit passively by, but to take action and to make a difference in the world around them.

I think that says it all... "Be the Change". Though my kids may not go on to start international organizations like Craig (though who am I to limit them if they so choose!?), I do want them to learn the importance of loving others and doing what we can to help those in need. Didn't Jesus give us that as as the greatest commandment? LOVE! And what is love if it isn't followed by action?

The slogans for these various organizations are quite powerful...

"The power of a simple gift" - Operation Christmas Child by Samaritan's Purse

"Change a life, Change your own" - World Vision

"Releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name" - Compassion Canada

"Be the change" - Free the children

All of these are calling for us to take action! I also love this quote from Helen Keller (who was blind and deaf) "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something that I can do."

No, it's not all about me... An important lesson to learn (and more importantly to remember!) It's all too natural for me to have my selfish tendencies creep in at a moment's notice... to become absorbed in my own little fast-paced North-American life and my own "little" problems and forget altogether about the needs of those around us... As a teacher, I've always found that I learn best when I have to teach something... maybe that's what I'm hoping for as I long to be more intentional about teaching my children about compassion. BE the change, what a revolutionary concept.

How was your day?

Last night as I was getting the kids ready for bed, my daughter said this to me: "Mom, I want to start today all over again." ... "Why?" I asked, not quite sure what she meant, wondering if something had gone wrong today... Her response: "Because I LOVED today! It was the perfect day!"

Interesting, I thought, seeing as today was just a regular week day... school bus, classes, homework... sure she got to play with friends from church at our small group tonight, and she got to share brownies with her class to celebrate her belated birthday (from the weekend)... but a perfect day? It was just a week day! Oh, maybe it was because she had Hip Hop at lunch today... but that's a weekly occurance at school... what was it that made this day so perfect for her?

As I think about her comment today, it makes me wonder how many of my regular week days I would long to repeat because they were just perfect... Dare I say most likely none? I wouldn't want to repeat my screw ups with my impatience... or the nights I pass by the mountain of clothes that still needs to be folded on my way up to bed and realize I didn't get half the things done that I had hoped! I rather start a clean slate the next day...

I think my best days (I'm talking during the week routine days) would be those when I've ignored the computer, have been productive in knocking things off my list of things to do, have gotten a good dinner on the table and did not miss out on moments to stop and spend time with my kids and husband, and maybe even connected with a friend (bonus!). Oh and I LOVE the days I've been able to get outside for a walk or run... Actually, when I think about it, yesterday was a good day for me too! I was pretty productive around the house (laundry done, folded AND put away, floors cleaned), playtime with the kids, an hour playing Cranium's "Caribou" game with my daughter (over and over again!), then enjoyed the company of friends at our small group, and had a great conversation with my sister over the phone before heading to bed... I guess it was a great day, even if it wasn't out of the ordinary (I might have fully not noticed if I hadn't stopped to think about it...).

I love my daughter's comment because it was really about living a day with no regrets... something I'm learning about these days...
How would you rate your day?

What's your act of green?

I just saw a commercial on CBC Television asking just this question. They call it "One Million Acts of Green", one act at a time. The commercial featured Canadian TV personalities as well as David Suzuki stating what their "acts of green" were (everything from turning off the tap when brushing their teeth and using energy light bulbs, to Suzuki's picking up at least one piece of garbage per day and putting it back in its proper place). Then they ask us again: "What's your act of green?"

That got me thinking... well, I usually always use cold water to do the laundry; I rarely use the dishwasher (unless it would be completely full... which is rare) because I find it wastes too much water and energy to run (and I want to be able to use that cup I need NOW!); I am a diligent (for the most part) recycler and composter (I love the green bin! Not sure why they accept diapers in the green bin, but it sure helps me to reduce my garbage which only gets picked up every 2nd week); I keep the thermostat in the house at reasonable levels (not HOT in the winter and COLD in the summer... we adjust it at night as well); I turn off the tap when I brush my teeth too (habit); and we just started putting our 1st grader on the school bus (finally) which saves us tons of gas from driving back and forth because her school is not close (I spent 1.5-2 hrs in the car every day just to drop her off and pick her up... there were also many other factors acting as motivators for this one); I try to use reusable grocery bags (but I most often seem to forget them at home which is of no use to me when I'm at the store check-out... but I try!); oh and I've carpooled to work when it was convenient to save on gas (prices have gotten to be ridiculous in the last year in particular!!)

Okay, despite my ecology background from my university studies, I'm no environmental guru... I get it, I try, but I'm no environmental superhero! I'm not a fan of the energy bulbs and the odd food or yogurt cup will end up in the garbage instead of the green bin or recycling... And many of my "acts of green" aren't always environmentally motivated (that's usually a bonus!) - more often they are motivated by saving money, convenience, necessity, or just plain habit... Nonetheless... they count! And I think that's just the point of this new campaign the CBC is launching... it's all the little things that add up and end up making a difference.

Our next acts of green? Retrofitting our home with a more efficient furnace (ours is about to croak) and replacing drafty windows and doors (weatherstripping the windows until we can get to replacing them... the doors should be done in the next week or so - YAY!). We're going to do a home energy audit before the renovations, which could give us up to $10,000 in federal grants and provincial rebates - another YAY! (http://www.homeperformance.com/).

Visit http://www.onemillionactsofgreen.com/ and add your acts to the grand total. As the CBC promo says... "Because you don't get to a million without starting at one. So, get ready to go green. One act at a time." So... what's your act of green?

A Family Pet

When I first met my husband, he had this beautiful little Alaskan Malamute puppy, just a few months old. For this girl who never had a pet in her life growing up (other than horses on the farm up the road... not quite house pets!), the prospect of having a 130 pound dog in my house two years later when we were looking at getting married freaked me out! All that dog hair to vacuum, pet hair on our clothes when we went out, cleaning up the backyard after the dog... I wasn't too excited about the idea! But it was firmly made clear that the dog was part of the package!

Well, I fell in love with our Malamute. He quickly became MY dog. I fed him, brushed him, walked him every day on the hiking trails around where we lived, took him cross-country skiing in the winter. His commanding presence kept me feeling safe when my husband was out of town for work. He was beautiful! We sadly had to say goodbye to him when our first born was just under a year old. Once we had more kids, I couldn't imagine adding a new dog to the clan...

My eldest has had a fear of dogs since she was a toddler, but in the past few months has started asking for a dog (knowing that a cat is out of the question with her dad's allergy... which would probably have been her first choice). We just added a new baby to the family... I can't imagine having to take care of a dog on top of the kids right now!

We got our first family pets today... Betta fish. No dog... but my birthday girl was extremely happy to have a pet to take care of (one for her younger sister too). Everyone wins! (and she already knows that fish don't live forever... her friend in school was sad when he lost his dog and was now getting a new one, so she gets that pets don't live forever... bonus!)

Better believe it!

If you're a mom, let me ask you this... Do you ever have those moments when you just think to yourself "I can't believe I'm a mom!" I have these moments periodically... It's usually when I check on the kids at night before I crawl into bed and see them sleeping so peacefully, or when I'm doing dishes or folding the never ending pile of clothes (is it just me? I just can't keep up! I digress) it can hit me as I work and watch them playing well together, or when one of them says something so sweet (and at times deep - out of the mouths of babes!)... it's in those near perfect moments that it just hits me... I can't believe I'm a mom! (okay - my kids aren't always perfect... but it's usually a safe bet when they're sleeping!) In the less perfect or otherwise rushed moments, I'm too busy dealing with whatever is going on... doesn't lend itself to these pensive times!

I can still picture myself at home with my parents as a little girl with THEM being the parents, and my mom having all the answers and just the perfect words of encouragement to calm me as I cried about problems with friends or whatever it might be... but now it's my turn! How time FLIES! Okay, maybe I haven't mastered how to remove every and any kind of stain out of clothes yet... or I'm not a seasoned chef either (yet - that's for another blog entry!)... but I do hear myself saying things that my mom used to tell me... and I find myself making "mom" type decisions about whether it's time to start piano lessons or to take the school bus, or I see myself cherishing those quiet moments at the bedside when my 1st grader ponders her day, shares her fears and worries and asks a thousand and one questions... I can vividly remember my mom and I having many chats with her sitting on the edge of my bed as I had difficulty falling asleep. I don't want to be too rushed and miss those moments - it's too easy for me to get frustrated at bedtime when the calls for me come down the stairs from their bedrooms when I don't FEEL like heading up there AGAIN!

I'm a mom. Yep! It's my turn! Not only am I a mom, but I'm a mom with 3 children and I've been married a year and a bit shy of a decade! Time really does fly. Even though I'm not a little girl anymore, I am glad that my mom's still my mom. She's still a great sounding board and gives good advice when I ask for it... I'm thankful for our chats and times together then and now as I continue to learn about how to become a better mom as my girls grow up.

I'm so very thankful for my beautiful family and I pray that God would continue to mold me into being the mom that He wants me to be.

The Birthday Party Frenzy

My 1st grader has already had countless invitations to birthday parties this year, and its just October! Bowling, rock climbing, Zooz (jungle-theme play gym), gymnastics gym, the public pool... you name it! Birthdays seem to go way overboard these days... there's the family party, the school friends party, the neighbourhood friends party... cupcakes for school... add the pile of gifts they accumulate at these parties where the entire class is invited, and it gets to be ridiculous!

Growing up, I don't remember us ever having birthday parties. In fact, I actually only remember one friend, Stephanie, ever having a party for our entire class at her house. We ate mini-pizzas on english muffins (or were they bagels?) and played some party games. I haven't forgotten because it was the only one I can remember attending as a kid! Okay, maybe we had the odd sleepover with a couple of girlfriends... but that was about it. The tradition in our home (of 5 kids) was that on our birthday, we got to pick our favourite meal which mom would prepare (mine being spaghetti), then we had cake (we usually all wanted the store-bought chocolate McCain Deep 'n Delicious cakes - two stacked one on top of the other - though my sister liked the marbled chocolate/vanilla cake - and I can remember requesting angel cake a few times - one year it had sticky marshmellow icing - yum!). We could also usually invite one or two of our friends to join us around the dinner table... and that was about it! And it was enough to make us feel special. (I don't remember the friends bringing gifts either... it wasn't about that!) That was OUR special day. I love the simplicity of it all...

Now that I have my own kids, I'm trying to resist the unreasonably overboard birthday party craze which seems to have settled in as "normal" these days... My 3 year-old and I both celebrated our birthdays together last month with a quiet family dinner and cake, joined by grandma. In the past, we've usually kept our family birthdays low key, inviting a few neighbourhood friends over for a BBQ maybe, or just for cake and to play (usually with a homemade chocolate cake decorated with flowers made out of smarties). Last year, for the first time, we actually had a little party for my eldest. She was allowed 5 school friends for her 5th birthday. We played games, had pizza and cake and had one of her friends stay longer for a special birthday play-date (because I knew she'd freak out once they all left and the day wasn't over yet!)...

So this year, as her 6th birthday approaches next week, she's allowed 6 friends and has been planning for weeks! My girls have moments when they struggle with it being "NOT FAIR" when it's one's birthday and not the other's... I'm trying to teach them that there's nothing fair or unfair about it! We just each have our turns and have to wait an entire year before its our turn again! If only birthdays came around more often... or NOT! Regardless, it's finally her turn, and let me tell you, my organized party planner is MORE than ready!

Happy Birthday my sweet!

Voting Day

Today is decision day for Canadians (that day is fast approaching for our American neighbours as well). I am reminded of the grade 10 Civics course I taught last year. It's a half-semester course on how the Canadian government and electoral system work in our country. It teaches students to be informed, purposeful and active citizens in their communities, province, country and the world. In teaching the course, I came across the following quote that came to mind today as I headed to the polling station near our home to vote.

"In a democratic state, the power of voting gives to the individual regal authority; but when he surrenders this priviledge to another, he dethrones himself." - Eschines

It baffles me that so many in the free world do not exert their right to vote when around the world, people are denied this priviledge. There are stories of cohersion in so called "democratic elections" of people fearing for their safety (and at times for their life) if they do not vote as they're told. Often, they don't have the option to vote at all. People are fighting oppression to obtain this basic political right which we so freely hold in North America today.

Even in looking at our own country (and of our neighbours to the South), women and many minority groups fought greatly in history for their right to vote when only male land-owners could vote back in the day! We've come a long way... or have we? Why is it that now that we have the right to vote, so many forget what it took to even have the option? It is truly our responsibility as citizens, yet so many passively (and lazily) take it for granted! (go back to the quote if you need some convincing...).

SO, if you think that your vote won't make a difference... or you wouldn't know who to vote for... whatever the excuse... get over it! Become informed, take action and get out to vote! There is no excuse. It is not only our right, but more importantly, it is a priviledge and our responsibility!