The 100/0 Principle

Do you have a relationship in your life that you are ready to give up on? You're so frustrated with the person you don't know why you even bother?

Well, we all know the golden rule:

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

But its not always so easy to live out when we face frustrating people that make us want to throw our arms up in the air...

So what do we do? Give up? Is the relationship worth all your effort when it feels like they're giving you nothing back?

The golden rule was summed up in practical ways in this 100/0 Principle that really resonated with me. Its meant for the relationships that you feel truly matter... whether it be a coworker you just need to get along with because you work so closely together... a friend... a sibling... an in-law... a spouse... whatever relationship you find yourself in that might be strained at the moment.

Check out this brief video to see what its all about... you'll get the idea.

The 100/0 Principle - see this brief video to get the gist of it.

Relationships that matter are worth the time and effort. I truly believe it. We need faith that things can and will change. I do... do you?

Christmas

I now find myself in full Christmas spirit. Working on the holiday issues of Women on the Move and Deeper helped me to transition from the busyness of marking and report cards!

The Christmas lights are up on the house, we put up our Christmas tree last night, and Christmas music has been playing on the radio and on the piano as my girls learn them in their piano lessons, and we've been having fun playing duets! There's even snow on the ground (as I write, we'll see how long that lasts...). It doesn't feel like Christmas without snow for this Northern girl so I'm loving the "light dusting" we just got!

Christmas is a beautiful time of year when people come together, regardless of their backgrounds and interestingly regardless of their beliefs too. Love, giving and compassion abound as we exchange gifts and seem to go out of our way to do kind things for others, "in the spirit of Christmas."

At least for this season, many of us stop to look beyond our own busy lives and consider those around us, our family, friends, coworkers and the less fortunate in our communities and around the world. If only it was a more common practice to be more giving and selfless throughout the year... that is how Jesus lived His life everyday isn't it? A friend to all - the rich, the poor, those hated by society - the prostitutes, the lepers and tax-collectors... and caring for them in real tangible ways: feeding crowds, healing the sick, raising the dead, forgiving the burdened, taking the time to really listen to their stories and answering their questions, in essence: serving others. I love that the world still stops to celebrate Jesus, over 2000 after his birth... amazing.

For this season, all of us, in the church and amazingly beyond the church walls, are challenged to love, serve and help others. That's a beautiful thing!

I'm not stressing about the list of things to do that often comes with Christmas... I'm just excited for time off from work so that I can spend more quality time with my family near and far. I'm also enjoying taking time out with the girls to stop to consider the true reason for season. So many wonderful opportunities to deepen faith in our kids in the weeks leading up to Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you all! May this be a season rich in quality time with loved ones, and one where we all reach beyond our little bubbles to show love to others and to help those in need.

Here are a few songs that are sure to get you in the Christmas spirit if you too have been struggling to make the transition.

Christmas Food Court Flash Mob, Hallelujah Chorus

Deck the Halls - my absolute favourite jazzy version of this song from "Count Your Blessings" with Holly Cole

A Holy Thing (Who is this Child) from "Count Your Blessings" with Victoria Williams

Remembrance Day & Afghanistan

I was struggling in the early weeks of November to even start thinking about Christmas... I was still sorting through Halloween candy and struggled with so many people rushing to get Christmas decorations up before Remembrance Day on November 11th! I suppose I like each season to have its time... and I didn't want to rush past Remembrance Day without taking the time to remember.

For some reason, this year, I was very touched by Remembrance Day, which left me reflecting and praying for much longer then the usual 1 day (or worst, just for the moment of silence). Perhaps its because I now have friends and family members of friends who have served and are serving in Afghanistan, so it all seems much more closer to home.

The CBC put together an amazing 2-hr commercial-free television program Nov. 11th which honoured the fallen soldiers in Canada's mission to Afghanistan, giving us a window into their lives to get to know who they were. The program also gave us insight into the mission and why the soldiers serving so believe in their mission. Its well worth watching: "We will remember them" - the website has the TV special and much more.

I was also really taken by a song by The Trews, which I shared with all my classes and listened to time and time again. The song is again honouring our Canadian fallen soldiers from our Mission in Afghanistan, called "Highway of Heros" referring to the 401 on which all fallen solders drive when they come home with people gathering on the overpasses above waving their flags.

I think with all that reflecting and the talk of the government making November 11th an official holiday, it took me a while to transition to the Christmas season... lights and decorations going up all around me... I was too busy with school and report cards and wasn't ready to rush through November just yet.

We forget too easily the sacrifice of those who serve and the sacrifice of their families...

Thank you to the members of our Canadian Forces. Not just on November 11th, but all year through.

Women on the Move!

Wow, is it ever time for an update! The Mom's Moments Newsletter found a new name this fall thanks to your help with our many reader submissions! Drumroll please.....

The newsletter's newfound name is....

WOMEN ON THE MOVE

It's the perfect fit for we are all busy women on the move, whether we're moms or not, the newsletters are full of great practical articles, ideas, resources, recipes and more - don't forget the health column! There's something for every busy gal striving to keep health and balance in their lives... And the best part? It's women encouraging, challenging and inspiring women by sharing their stories and resources.

Join us and be a part of it! You'll find Women on the Move, a wealth of online resources and so much more at:

www.momsmoments.ca

Help us find a new name for the "Mom's Moments" newsletter!

The planning team - myself, Andi Hawkins & Nicolle Huggins - has been busy as we look to next season! Now we come to you with a request. Mom's Moments began as a newsletter, but over the past five years, it has grown to be much more! (see www.momsmoments.ca for recap of all that we do).

"Mom's Moments" will remain the name of our website and organization, but we feel that the newsletter itself is in need of its very own name.

WILL YOU HELP US?

Why a new name?

First, because we've found that some women are intimidated to contribute to the "Mom's Moments" newsletter, feeling like they're supposed to be "mom" experts (but who is, really!?). Secondly, many women who aren't moms still get a lot out of the practical articles that aren't always motherhood specific: the health column, "My Story" articles, recipes, etc. Plus many women have children in their lives -- nephews, nieces or students -- but may just not have any of their own. At Mom's Moments, we want all women to feel welcome to read as well as CONTRIBUTE to this newsletter.

That said, we believe a new name for the newsletter is in order. We would love for you ALL to help find a name that reflects the newsletter vision. Here is what we are about:

• We aim to empower women by giving them a voice to encourage and equip one another through this newsletter where they can share their stories, resources, recipes and practical tips, experience or expertise.
• We hope that through the newsletter, women would be challenging and inspiring each other to live more balanced and healthier lives.
• We long to simplify our days as we remind and challenge each other to live more intentionally on the homefront so that we never lose sight of the things (and people) that truly matter (this happens so easily in our rushed and hectic lifestyles today when everyone and everything is vying for our time and energy...who really misses out?).
• Women don't have to be experienced writers to share their stories, etc., the idea is that we all have something to share, and we can all learn from each other - we can help you through the writing process when needed!
• Our readers come from a wide demographic from across North America (and beyond!) with different backgrounds, cultures, traditions and belief systems, from pregnant women, to moms of preschoolers, school-aged children, teens or empty nesters, some are single, married or have blended families, some don't have kids, some work outside the home, others stay at home, homeschool or run a business from home... and the list goes on. It's a mixed readership and we love it that way as we can all learn from each other!

So, in case you didn't already know... that's what the "Mom's Moments" newsletter is all about... Obviously, there is indeed practical mom-specific content in there, but the title of the newsletter should not stop someone from wanting to contribute because they don't have any children of their own or because they don't feel they are "experts" or professional writers...

With all of the above considered, let it simmer and see what names might come to mind. PLEASE take a minute to post your suggestions in a comment below or email us! (even if you think its not a great catchy name... you might be onto something that we can work with, send it along)!! We plan to have a vote in the fall with the top names submitted....

Eagerly awaiting each of your responses,

Mélanie, Andi & Nicolle
Your Mom's Moments Planning Team

Soccer Mom

This past April, my oldest daughter went to the park with the neighbourhood kids who are a few years older... When I reached the park shortly after, I watched as my 7-year old walked off the soccer field to sit on the sidelines as the others went on to play soccer.

When I got closer, I saw that she was teary-eyed and was clenching on to the cell phone she was asked to hold on to. I asked why she wasn't playing soccer with her friends. She replied that she's no good at soccer. They had been playing tag and other games that had been fun, but once they switched to soccer, she chose to sit out, feeling like she might not be good enough.

I believe that what followed became a pivotal moment in my daughter's life (and I could have easily missed it). We walked home together and talked along the way. She shared about not really liking sports because she doesn't like the competitiveness, feeling like she's not really good, and not liking when she loses (who does really, just something we've all got to learn!)...

It's at that moment that I decided that my daughter would not be another woman who like so many grows up believing they just aren't the athletic types... then looking back on their life after having children, they wish they'd been more active... I believe that we all need to be active, regardless of whether we'll be winning Olympic medals. It doesn't matter if we're good in every sport, but it is important to find a sport or physical activity that works for us!

It would have been easy for us to label her as the "artsy type" and keep her out of athletics... but in that moment, I realized the importance of not doing that! I was already seeing her self-esteem being affected by it in that incident at the park. That was not going to be my girl, sitting on the sidelines as the designated cell phone holder. Not my daughter.

SO, my girl and I chatted some more when we got home. We looked up the town soccer club, discovered that we hadn't missed registration yet (it ended that week!), and we discussed the idea of her playing soccer. She got really excited about learning the sport, not too keen on the idea of playing games, but we talked about it all being a part of sport: practicing, learning, making friends, playing, winning, losing, all the while learning to be a good sport.

Her next question: "what would I wear?" The idea of having a team uniform and those special soccer shoes too was getting her pretty excited... and the possibility of winning a trophy (like her friends up the street)... well...(thankfully they apparently all win trophies in the soccer club tournaments ;) I talked it over with my husband, and we had her registered the next day.

Since April, she's insisted on joining me on a couple of runs (she ran 20 minutes straight without stopping! I know many women who can't do that!)... She has also gone to the park a number of times with our teenage neighbour (who is heading off to university on a soccer scholarship in the fall) to kick the ball around and learn more about the sport. She has been soaking up every second of it all.

Months later, we are a few weeks into the soccer season, and my girl who "didn't like sports" has developed a new found LOVE for soccer. She is watching the FIFA World Cup in South Africa any chance she can, learning where she is to be on the field as she watches the players on TV, and she gets SO excited for soccer night. She's eager, not afraid of the ball on the field and best of all, she's gained a lot of confidence in her sporting ability over the past few months.

This is the type of stuff in life that defines us and impacts our sense of self growing up (which I believe does carry on into adulthood). All that to say, I'm thankful that my girl will grow up to value active living with a stronger self-esteem and sense of self.

Phew... I could have easily missed that, after years of choosing to stay away from soccer because I didn't want a sport to rule our lives in the summer... all in all... I know we made the right call on that one. It is definitely worth it, and we can work our visits to the cottage around the weekly soccer practice/game.

So a soccer mom I have gladly become ;)

Time Well Spent

As I was cleaning the house this afternoon, two thoughts kept running through my head... The first is that my energy spent on cleaning the floors and vacuuming seems so futile... if only a house could go from chaos to clean as quickly as it goes from clean to chaos when little ones are around... My toddler has recently discovered our unbabyproofable pantry and a new hobby has become emptying cereal boxes and pasta everywhere... I mean I can't fit EVERYTHING on top of the fridge!!!

The second thought that's more importantly been coming back to me is this... I chose well today.

I could have kept myself busy at work all day, but instead, I chose to cancel an appointment and work from home, allowing me to drive the kids to school this morning and join my 2nd-grader on their class field trip to the skating rink.

I chose well.

We had a blast skating together. She didn't even care that her friends were around, my girl just wanted to skate with her mommy and didn't like the time I ever so briefly went around the rink chatting with another parent... no this was OUR time together, no other siblings around, just the two of us (the 50+ other 2nd graders on the ice didn't seem to matter). We started playing tag to catch each other on the ice, with a few of her friends even joining in at the end. Awesome mother-daughter time!

Best of all, I was so excited to see that in 2nd grade, though you're already trying to be a lady and mimic the older kids in the way they dress and do their hair, it's still cool to reach for mom's hand as we're walking to the rink with the class... That made my day ;)

The overriding lesson of the day?

The house, the laundry and my to-do-list from work... those things will all get accomplished eventually... As pressing as they sometimes feel, in reality, they can and must wait. The bottom line is this:

I'll never regret giving my kids more of my time... building bonds, communication, character, faith...

That will always be time well spent at the end of the day.