I've been back to work for a few weeks now, but this week was my 4-year-old-today's first full week of school (full days, five days a week in Jr Kindergarten), as well as my 14 month old's first full week at the daycare.
The first few days kept getting progressively worst... each morning started with me having to peel one off me to get her on the school bus. The crying and screaming would start before we left the house with her wanting to stay home with me and me replying "BUT MOMMY'S NOT EVEN STAYING HOME! I'm going to work!" Ugh...
It continued right until I literally had to plonk her on the front seat of the bus beside her poor concerned older sister (the bus driver later assured me that she was fine once the bus got going).
Thankfully at the end of the day a smiling girl came off the bus after a great day (she just seems to forget that come morning).
My baby's pick-ups at the end of the day... another blow to a mamma's psyche... she didn't want to have anything to do with me! All too happy when I'd drop her off, and crying when she saw me at the end of the day, reaching to be back into the daycare provider's arms... OUCH! One day she even ran over to ANOTHER child's mom, crawled up on her lap to give HER some cuddles... HELLO!? I get that you're mad that I'm abandoning you all day, but I'M YOUR MAMMA!!! Ugh...
Tough to see your baby not want you after having been away all day... It's safe to say that this mamma wishes she could just stay home and take care of her baby herself and put an end to this crazy attachment confusion! At least I know she's happy and well cared for when I'm not with her... but still... tough for a mom to take (my first two didn't do that quite so blatantly! And no, dropping of #3 at the daycare isn't much easier then dropping off your first... it's still tough! At least I know that its going to get better).
The adjustment period is just not always fun is all... It's accompanied with a heavy heart and a good dose of mom guilt.
How I love my girls and long for the slower pace of life which allowed me to put everything else on hold so that I could enjoy my days with them - we had such an amazing spring and summer together!
I now find myself having to cram a lot of house and computer work into my weekends which creeps into my quality time with the kids and leaving me impatient... I'll have to figure that out somehow!
For now, I pray a lot... for our girls... for wisdom and efficiency in how I spend my time... and for me to always remember what's most important in my days when I'm feeling pulled in 1001 directions: my family.
For now I'm thankful that on my birthday at the end of this past week, I had a better day with the girls... drop-offs and pick-ups... And as an aside, another up to my week was that my nearly-7-year-old was intent on my birthday being special. She insisted that we go out to dinner to celebrate and that my husband bring home roses for me. (It's nice to know that at least one of my girls isn't mad at me right now!)
I'm praying for a better week to come for our little family!
Oct. 1st Update:
Its been nearly a week since I wrote the above entry. We're nearing the end of week 2 of one in full-time daycare and the other in full-time JK, and I must say its been a much better week then last week! I'm happy to say that there have been no tears at the bus stop in the mornings, and no tears for the pick-up at the daycare at the end of the day... I'm SO THANKFUL!!! What a change from last week let me tell you... I though I was going to lose my mind.
It's always an adjustment period wen I head back to work, let alone one starting school and another in daycare... the adjustment is not over, there will still be rough days (and this week has been rough in other ways... sickness and constant running with early mornings and very late nights trying to fit everything in... ) but its worlds better then last week with the girls, and I think next week will be even better on all fronts! LOTS OF PRAYER continues to sustain me and our family... and hopefully I can catch up on sleep soon ;)
Oct. 1st Update:
Its been nearly a week since I wrote the above entry. We're nearing the end of week 2 of one in full-time daycare and the other in full-time JK, and I must say its been a much better week then last week! I'm happy to say that there have been no tears at the bus stop in the mornings, and no tears for the pick-up at the daycare at the end of the day... I'm SO THANKFUL!!! What a change from last week let me tell you... I though I was going to lose my mind.
It's always an adjustment period wen I head back to work, let alone one starting school and another in daycare... the adjustment is not over, there will still be rough days (and this week has been rough in other ways... sickness and constant running with early mornings and very late nights trying to fit everything in... ) but its worlds better then last week with the girls, and I think next week will be even better on all fronts! LOTS OF PRAYER continues to sustain me and our family... and hopefully I can catch up on sleep soon ;)
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