Excited - The Start of Another Year at Mom's Moments!

We just kicked off the 4th season of Mom's Moments and I made my debut as the editor of both the Mom's Moments newsletter while continuing with the Deeper newsletter.

I am so thankful for all of the wonderful women who are already lined up to write for both newsletters throughout the year, and I'm excited to see what other contributions women will share as they engage in the Mom's Moments community!

Join us!  Subscribe on the website - www.momsmoments.ca and you'll get an email every 2 months (from moi) to keep you up to date with what's new - particularly when the latest newsletters are published! There are awesome topics to be addressed so you won't want to miss it!  Note that Mom's Moments is for all moms... regardless of age, stage in life, backgrounds or beliefs, so check it out!

Looking for more on the faith-front?  Then you won't want to miss the Deeper newsletters and www.deepermoments.ca - Mom's Moments sister site.

Cheers!

Mélanie

Tough Week

This week was a tough one on this working mom.

I've been back to work for a few weeks now, but this week was my 4-year-old-today's first full week of school (full days, five days a week in Jr Kindergarten), as well as my 14 month old's first full week at the daycare.

The first few days kept getting progressively worst... each morning started with me having to peel one off me to get her on the school bus. The crying and screaming would start before we left the house with her wanting to stay home with me and me replying "BUT MOMMY'S NOT EVEN STAYING HOME! I'm going to work!" Ugh...

It continued right until I literally had to plonk her on the front seat of the bus beside her poor concerned older sister (the bus driver later assured me that she was fine once the bus got going).

Thankfully at the end of the day a smiling girl came off the bus after a great day (she just seems to forget that come morning).

My baby's pick-ups at the end of the day... another blow to a mamma's psyche... she didn't want to have anything to do with me! All too happy when I'd drop her off, and crying when she saw me at the end of the day, reaching to be back into the daycare provider's arms... OUCH! One day she even ran over to ANOTHER child's mom, crawled up on her lap to give HER some cuddles... HELLO!? I get that you're mad that I'm abandoning you all day, but I'M YOUR MAMMA!!! Ugh...

Tough to see your baby not want you after having been away all day... It's safe to say that this mamma wishes she could just stay home and take care of her baby herself and put an end to this crazy attachment confusion! At least I know she's happy and well cared for when I'm not with her... but still... tough for a mom to take (my first two didn't do that quite so blatantly! And no, dropping of #3 at the daycare isn't much easier then dropping off your first... it's still tough! At least I know that its going to get better).

The adjustment period is just not always fun is all... It's accompanied with a heavy heart and a good dose of mom guilt.

How I love my girls and long for the slower pace of life which allowed me to put everything else on hold so that I could enjoy my days with them - we had such an amazing spring and summer together!

I now find myself having to cram a lot of house and computer work into my weekends which creeps into my quality time with the kids and leaving me impatient... I'll have to figure that out somehow!

For now, I pray a lot... for our girls... for wisdom and efficiency in how I spend my time... and for me to always remember what's most important in my days when I'm feeling pulled in 1001 directions: my family.

For now I'm thankful that on my birthday at the end of this past week, I had a better day with the girls... drop-offs and pick-ups... And as an aside, another up to my week was that my nearly-7-year-old was intent on my birthday being special. She insisted that we go out to dinner to celebrate and that my husband bring home roses for me. (It's nice to know that at least one of my girls isn't mad at me right now!)

I'm praying for a better week to come for our little family!

Oct. 1st Update:

Its been nearly a week since I wrote the above entry. We're nearing the end of week 2 of one in full-time daycare and the other in full-time JK, and I must say its been a much better week then last week! I'm happy to say that there have been no tears at the bus stop in the mornings, and no tears for the pick-up at the daycare at the end of the day... I'm SO THANKFUL!!! What a change from last week let me tell you... I though I was going to lose my mind.

It's always an adjustment period wen I head back to work, let alone one starting school and another in daycare... the adjustment is not over, there will still be rough days (and this week has been rough in other ways... sickness and constant running with early mornings and very late nights trying to fit everything in... ) but its worlds better then last week with the girls, and I think next week will be even better on all fronts! LOTS OF PRAYER continues to sustain me and our family... and hopefully I can catch up on sleep soon ;)

Starting off the Day

This morning as I lay in bed, I could hear my 6-year-old daughter singing quietly to herself in her bed. What a great way to start the day. I much prefer when she wakes up singing then when I have to wake her up, exhausted on a school day, and she's whining and complaining that she's too tired to get up yet... I choose singing over whining any day of the week! (if only it were my choice to make)

I do have other choices to make that affect my mornings though... will I press snooze, which results in a rushed morning to get myself ready and everyone up and going too... will I eat breakfast right away as I feed the girls, or will I get busy with 1001 tasks only to realize that I'm grumpy because I still haven't eaten (I don't function well without breakfast)... and the one which has the greatest impact on my day: will I sit and take a moment to read my Bible as I eat breakfast before I rush off and continue with the rest of my day (before or after the kids have eaten)...

Why is that last one so significant? Because I find that reading my Bible in the morning sets me up for a better day. It gets me refocused, invites God into my day from the start, and leads to a heart of prayer as I sit in the car driving to work, or doing tasks around the house - praying for my husband, my girls, friends, family, etc. In short, it puts life in perspective and reminds me that God is with me through each moment of my day.

I find that I've not been starting off my day right the past while, and I've been feeling it... impatience... rushing from one task to the next feeling like I'm not getting ahead... I have had seasons where I can pour into deeper studies, and others where I can barely get to just read a brief devotional with reflections written by various people based on a short passage. I'm in a busy season, and knowing that I've been missing the mark too often in past months, I'm back to picking up a devotional, though light, it at least is a start to get me focused in the morning and is better then nothing!

So I may not be able to choose if my daughter will wake up singing or cranky, but I can choose to take even just a minute to refocus my day by reaching for God's Word. What a difference it makes to my day!

Back to Work

So here it is... the moment you block out of your mind while on maternity leave (at least I do!)... the time has come for me to return to work...

I was back last week, but full swing next week with classes starting. I'm thankful that I'll be part-time (for the first time in my life) and have a more flexible morning schedule to be there for the girls before school and daycare. Ah... daycare... it always plays a number on my mind to put one of my babes in daycare... until we get settled and everyone gets accustomed and happy in our new routines. I'll also be there for them as they hop off the bus, so that works out wonderfully!

The first thing I find myself doing is selecting the perfect pictures to print off to have with me at school. It's so easy to get busy with work and not notice it taking over... I don't want to forget my girls in my days and that they need me more than any of my students do. I've learned over time that my only role where I am NOT replaceable is that of being a MOM to my 3 daughters. So when work and other responsibilities start creeping in, I want to remember all the fun we've had this summer so that I continue to prioritize making more time for my girls and family fun during the year when life is busy.

So here we go... another year at work... I already miss my girls. I already missed out on the beautiful sunny days last week and it drives me nuts! And I don't like that I'm turning the computer on again on a more regular basis... I LOVED the break I took this summer from working on the computer!

Speaking of the computer... I am also thankful for the help I've had with Mom's Moments in all the planning that took place last spring, so that I can keep up my newly expanded editing role there without it overwhelming me throughout the year. Great topics and people lined up to write for Mom's Moments and Deeper... I'm excited about that... stay tuned for the latest at www.momsmoments.ca (or rather just subscribe so you don't miss a thing and get an email every 2 months with what's new)!

I have a full plate this year... I pray that I can keep it all in balance! I'm feeling pretty good about it all so far with scaling back to being part-time, but I know it won't be easy to keep it all in check! I would give anything to be home full time... but its not an option for our family at the moment! Such is life... In the meantime, I'm praying for wisdom, PATIENCE, and energy so that I can keep up with everything while not missing out on the important things in life!

Where things go...

Yesterday, we were driving on a country road to go visit a friend in her new home when we went by a dump site. It had high mountains of crushed metal scraps... my 2nd grader was HORRIFIED! Our exchange went something like this...

"Why do they leave that there like that Mom?" she said with passion and extreme concern for this urgent situation.

"What do you want them to do with the garbage, love?" I asked.

"Not just leave it on the Earth!!!"

So on went the discussion as we kept driving about what happens with the things we throw in the garbage. Her response:

"I'm NEVER throwing ANYTHING out again!!"

My response: "Well we better stop buying things too then because it always results in more things needing to be thrown out in the end - packaging, broken things...!"

Well, that was ridiculously over the top to her... and there lies the problem. We are so comfortable in our wasteful lifestyles that any major sacrifice to address the serious issue of waste management becomes a difficult one to tackle on a personal level! It's easy to remain ignorant (I'm not preaching but rather including myself in here) when we don't often see it like we did yesterday and we just see our garbage picked up at the curve to go to some distant land we don't think much of...

And so we continue to live our lives, my daughter with a new awareness of the problem our wastefulness causes for the environment, and perhaps we'll get better and better as a family and a society to make smarter decisions about what we buy and discard.

Side note: For one, I've become much more aware of the amount of waste packaging produces... so that influences what products I put in the shopping cart... ie. I've never liked toilet paper and paper towel that are individually wrapped within their larger package... so much plastic! Now I'm noticing other packaging too... like juice boxes and water bottles... we've been bad for that because they're so convenient and recyclable... but they're still waste that need to be processed and that could be avoided... And what a movement to see all major grocery stores in our area push reusable bags and charge for the plastic ones now! I wonder when other retail stores will follow suit?

You know, my daughter's disgust at those mountains of scrap metal and garbage was a great reminder to me about how desensitized I've become about the whole situation... I truly should feel more of the urgency she did yesterday in the face of the blatant problem of waste management.

Learning from Others

Over the past summer months, I have spent a lot of time with a lot of different people as we've visited family and had various friends staying with us as well.

I've noticed that each home and family has its own rhythm and habits... It's been an interesting thing to observe... from the way parents interact with their spouses and with their kids and neighbours... to their routines and how connected they are in their communities... to their attitudes and habits in the kitchen, the house and the environment!

I've noticed that I've changed as a result of living with my friends and family... It's in the little things really... but it's made a difference in our home at times!

• I've seen kids eating solid foods earlier then I normally introduced it to mine... it actually impacted how my youngest made the transition over to table foods over the summer, and she's a wonderful eater now (except for fresh fruit... I don't know if its the slimy feel of foods she can mush in her hands, but those don't make it to her mouth for some reason...)
• I watched some take a minute to fold a load of laundry as soon as it was out of the dryer. I've found that taking that minute on the spot when I can to deal with one load at a time has avoided "laundry mountain" to pile up and clothes gets put away much faster without me having to set aside a night to "deal" with it!
• I saw some fill the dishwasher as they go... when it comes to the dishes, I was one who couldn't justify using the dishwasher unless I could fill it... but I've now learned that even if I just have one bowl and glass at the moment, it always fills up eventually and its one less job for my list of things to do (even if the dishes are still dirty - at least they're out of sight!)
• Even though I am fairly careful to care for the environment, I've learned that there is still room for improvements in the little things - like filling the juice containers instead of buying juice boxes for their school lunches to reduce waste!
• I saw a mom pull out a chapter book to read to the kids any time there was a lull in the day at the cottage... sure I read to my kids every night, but we haven't gotten into chapter books... hmmmm...
• Seeing how different people operate in their kitchens and how they fit in prepping their meals in their days has motivated me to have a lot more fun in the kitchen (my husband loves to cook... I tend to step aside or do the bare minimum). It's been fun to experiment and cook some great yummy new foods the past while!

There's so much more too... like attitudes and family routines regarding physical activity and health, to safety while on outings, or playtime with the kids, (I even noticed that I sat to play more board games with the kids when we were at the cottage... why don't we make more time for that at home??), etc... 

In short, I have LOVED every moment of visiting with SO MANY friends and family over the summer. I've learned some things along the way, and it's been a joy to get a glimpse into everyone's lives and catch up, hear their hearts, worries, plans and dreams for the future and just have lots of good old plain fun and laugh together.

Thanks to all whom I've crossed paths with over the summer... it's been a blast :) Hopefully we can do it again soon!

Loving Summer

I know most people are complaining about the cold weather we've been having this summer... it truly does feel more like fall most days... I mean we're only one week into August and yesterday I noticed that the leaves on our maple tree in the front yard have started to change colour and a few have already dropped... (that usually doesn't happen until late September/October for the most part!!)  

Yes, the weather has been off the past month or so, but it really hasn't gotten me down much.  There are a few reasons for this I think...  

First, we had BEAUTIFUL weather in the spring and I spent most of it outside with the kids and our neighbours in the back.  So to me being on leave, summer started well before July (which is when the cool weather came around if I do recall...)

Second, when you're expecting rain all the time, you get out and take advantage of every chance you get when the weather's decent!  I've been out and about with the girls a lot this summer and we've been having a ball making the best of each moment. 

Third, I've been loving this semi-technology fast of mine... I've barely been on the computer (no work, just fun to catch up with people now and then), I haven't been a slave to my blackberry (I've been out of cellular range for much of the summer, which has been great!), and I haven't even been watching much TV either.  (though I haven't scrapbooked like I hoped or read my novels for school either... I've been too tired in the evenings from full days! No worries!)

I think I've been having one of my best summers with the kids, and I think it's because I can't recall not being distracted by something or other in the summer... summer courses... prep for new courses I'd have to teach... moving... computer work for Mom's Moments... a brand new baby had me wiped last summer... did I mention packing up a house to move (that happened more than once!)  This summer, I'm just having fun with the girls with no distractions drawing me away.  It's been great.  Also seeing the games that one of my daughters is playing in speech therapy has gotten us all to play more board games together on a regular basis, which has been really neat (and different for us - great for those quiet days when the rain does hit!)  

The tough part has been having my husband still in school while we're out and about visiting (we've been home for a total of 2 out of 6 weeks since school's been out)... visiting the girls' cousins all over the place and spending much time at some cottage or another while daddy's been home alone studying... It can't be easy to study in the summer when your family is on holidays!

We're home for a while now... no more significant travel plans... more bike rides (hopefully more running!?)... more games... more swimming... more trips to the zoo (love our membership!)... more sleep (I'm hoping for me anyway!)... more steps and walking by my 13 month old... more time with my husband... a few visitors... I'm ready to be home and get the house in order (loving our new windows and doors!)... but very much still on holidays and continuing my semi-technology fast!!  I still have 3 weeks before I head back to work, so I'm going to love every last minute (and SO thankful that I'll be part-time with no new courses to prep for Sept!)

Hope you are all enjoying summer and making the best of each moment... as weird as the weather has been (in Ontario anyways)!